Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Christmas Scenes

12 days until Christmas book/movie advent calendar

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letters to Santa


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I love Conner's hand writing and that he wrote a list for Caleb

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good behavior candy canes on the tree

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homemade baby mangers

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Christmas surprise package from grandma and the suspense is driving the boys crazy!
I love little traditions like this that are passed from generation to generation

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neighborhood Christmas party complete with horse-and-carriage ride

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and letters from our Christmas elves - Lenny and Wayne

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11 days.
4 hours.
and 56 minutes.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Blast You to the Moon Smiles

There is a club of retired individuals that regularly fly remote controlled airplanes at the park next to my parent's house - every morning.


And almost every morning - when we were living with my parents - the boys and I would take a little walk around the corner to watch the airplanes fly.


So... Much... Fun.


Watching the airplanes fly was magical for my little boys.
And I knew the we needed to do something about their new passion for flying.


So we made our very own jet pack rockets with plans to launch our bodies and dreams into outer space. We emptied cereal boxes and stole some plastic cups from grandma and started glue-gunning away.


Once the glue was dry, we took our first flight.
Definite smile material for everyone.


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Chieko Okazaki once spoke on the importance of smiling. Smiles have power to encourage, love, and create happiness. She made the point that there is never a short supply of smiles. Smiles should not be saved for those you wish to impress, rather smiles should be shared more readily with the ones we love.


Making homemade jet packs with my kids makes me smile.
And I love these smiles...

But sometimes the important smiles occur spontaneously and effortlessly during the small and simple moments. Moments of holding your child's hand to feel them spontaneously do the three-squeezes-means-I-love-you-pattern or kissing your husband as he walks in the door from a long day at school/work.


These smiles and the happiness they create blast my heart to the moon with joy.
I am so grateful for the magical moments smiles create.


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”tuesdays


Oh, and by the way, I still can not find the box that is hiding my adobe lightroom photo-editing software... and it is driving me nuts to post pictures unedited. Anyone have experience with Photoshop? If so, do you love it?

The Gift of Love

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As Colton lovingly holds his Elmo in one hand and builds Lego towers with the other, he randomly stops to embrace his red stuffed friend. While running around the house in a game of tag, he runs with his mouth puckered into a kiss against Mickey's nose. And when wrestle-with-dad-time occurs, he body slams with a Curious George held firmly in one hand.


Colton has a lot of love to share. And as I watch him express his love, I silently pray that his life will be a life that is packed-to-the-brim with unconditional love. A life that is no stranger to the peace, comfort, and joy of love. A life that is full of moments to express and receive love.


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And as I silently plead with God to bless this boy - and all my boys - with love, I realize that God has already answered my prayer. The manger that cradled the infant body of the Savior is proof of God's great love for all mankind. God's gift of His son altered the Heavens and Earth with unconditional love. The suffering, atoning, and self-less love of the Savior granted us the ability to stand a little taller and cleaner.


In a world that is broken with sadness, grief, and sorrow the Savior anxiously wants to share His love with those who will believe... because He knows we need it. He stands ready, willing, and able to heal our heart, souls, and minds. All we have to do is ask.


Colton's stuffed friends will one day fade and fall apart. But the love from the Savior will never ever fade and disappear. His love is the one true source that has withstood time, pain, and long suffering. In the words of Jeffery R. Holland, "Christ's love never fails us. Not now, not ever. No, not ever."


And I am so grateful.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Marker Lid Christmas

Christmas is here, and we are so very excited. The day after thanksgiving we opened all of our Christmas boxes and greeted our Holiday friends. Stuffed animals that tell stories, favorite Elmo ornaments, and comfortable Christmas blankets are all unpacked and being enjoyed - and I love it.

Christmas time is so fun.

But as we set the tree up and assembled all of the ornaments, something was missing.
I could not figure out what it was.
So I thought and I thought and I thought about it.

Nothing came to mind.

Then one day I was unpacking the 2 toddler bin of clothes for Colton (the eighteen month clothes are now too small) and while I was folding some khaki church pants I felt something bumpy in one of the pockets.

I opened the pocket to find...


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I am not kidding.
Do you remember Caleb's obsession with marker lids?

Do you remember that he wanted to carry these superhero marker lid friends with him everywhere so we had to make a car and recycle our socks and altoid containers to hold them?

And do you remember how they evolved into bunnies and men with funky hair?



Well.
We decided that our Christmas tree was definitely needing some marker lid love.
So we hot glued some pipe cleaners to the top of the marker lids,


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and we hung them on our tree.


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And now my friends, Christmas is complete.
Santa can come and the reindeer can fly.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Measuring Friends

Colton would much rather play with measuring spoons and/or cups any day.
Forget the trucks and give this boy something to measure with.

Future cook or builder... what do you think?

When Colton had an absolute fit last night because he wanted to hold every single measuring spoon I own at the same time and his hands are simply not big enough, I knew it was time for some intervention.

I took the all the spoons away.
I know.
Bad Mom moment.


But hold on.
I am about to redeem myself.

After he screamed and screamed for his measuring utensils, I finally tucked him into his crib with a cold bottle of water and five million measuring cups. With a smile the size of Texas, he fell asleep to the sweet sounds of clanking plastic teaspoons and tablespoons.

I put the older boys to bed and pulled out my hot glue gun.

I'd like to introduce you to our measuring friends.


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Don't they make you smile?

I also love that all of the measuring spoons attach to a ring. Now baby Colton can run around the house with a dozen measuring spoons attached to a simple ring. Life is so much easier now.

Home Tour

I keep thinking that I will post these pictures as soon as I find my photo-editing software, finish unpacking the basement, and my kitchen is clean.

Well, the photo-editing software is still missing.
The basement is still 40% boxes.
But my kitchen was clean!

So today I am going to introduce you to the main floor of the new all-boy-house.
Drum roll please.


When you walk into our house, you are greeted with this:

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Have I mentioned how much I love our new family photos taken by my amazing brother-in-law-photographer? I love them.


I love the little half banister that is at the entrance,

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the bay window,

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and the banister that borders the kitchen.

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The playground in the backyard with a sandbox is oh-so-little-boy-wonderful.

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And we are so excited about the little basketball court in the backyard.

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The kitchen is cute, with plenty of counter space for the bazillion bananas the boys like to eat.

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And a cute lovely bar.
Can I say that I LOVE bar-stool eating?

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The master bedroom is cute, and we love the four additional bedrooms the home offers. The basement has a very large open family room that has transformed into our projector-movie-theatre room and it still has plenty of room for all the little boy toys. The home has three bathrooms, one large storage room, and an awesome garage with tons of built-in-shelves.

I'm not going to share pictures of bedrooms or the outside of the house because I am one of those paranoid moms who worries about sharing too much information on my blog about where we live. But the house is cute and we love it.

I loved my first house so much. We really put a lot of time into painting, finishing a backyard, completing a basement, and upgrading some of the little things. I loved that house... and I never thought I would love another house as much as I did my first house.

But with every box that I unpack, picture that I hang, and memory that I create in this new house - I am falling in love all over again.

Turkey Pirates

Remember these fun Goldilocks and the Three Bears wooden spoon puppets?

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And remember how baby Colton had a hard time crawling around with them?
But he loved them so much that he endured the hardship and somehow got around the house with wooden spoons in his hands?
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Well.
I decided that we needed to make some thanksgiving turkeys.
So we made a couple.

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And we love them.
Mostly.

Colton now runs around the house with wooden turkey sticks in both hands smacking them against anything and anyone he can reach with them. Wooden spoon play is now a when-Colton-is-asleeping-activity for the big boys.

But regardless, the older boys loved playing with their turkey sticks. While walking home from school today, Conner suggested that we transform his thanksgiving turkeys into pirate turkeys.

Now we are talking.
Pirates + Turkeys = Totally Awesome


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When I asked Conner what it is that pirates turkeys eat, he told me that he did not know and that I should call my husband to get the answers to my questions.

I called Nate.
He did not know either.

I may not know what pirate turkeys eat, but I do know how pirates turkeys get around town.


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They have ditched the pirate ship to ride around on top of batman's car.
Seriously.
Pirate turkey.
Life does not get cooler than this.


And you totally know that after I write this post, I am going to start writing a story about the pirate turkeys that save a certain holiday and bring peace, joy, and goodwill to all mankind... one "Gobble Gobble ARRRRR" at a time.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Twelve Year Punnishments

Conner likes to step in and play Mom.
Sometimes I intervene and sometimes I just listen.

Today when Caleb threw a pair of pants at Colton's head, I overheard Conner begin the discipline.

Caleb's so-called-consequence?
He had to give Colton a favorite toy for the next twelve years.


Yep. We are in for the long haul.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Conner's School Pictures

Conner has this habit of wiping his face with his shirt after he eats.
I don't know where he learned it, but it has got to stop!

Kindergarten picture day.
Conner eats his breakfast in his underwear.
I am determined to get a picture with a clean shirt.

On the way out the door, Conner must of grabbed a snack to eat because his kindergarten picture has a little wipe of food on his shirt.

Shirts.
They are the new napkins.

Finding Me

I searched the alleyways, corners, and dead ends of my soul. Desperately looking for a golden ticket, prized answer, and a magical solution that would define who I am as an individual and what my purpose in life is.


I knew the basics.

My name is Angie.

I am a wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, etc.

I am known and loved by a God in Heaven who knows me by name, answers my prayers, and earnestly wants me to do the best I can.

But I did not know much more than that.


For years I searched for myself.

Am I a writer? A photographer? A sewer? A cook? A crocheter?

Amongst all the kitchen experiments, photos, fabric adventures, and yarn - I learned a lot.

But despite the abilities to prepare gluten-free food and adjust my photographic aperture, I always felt empty handed and incomplete.


Out of pure exhaustion and frustration, I gave up on myself and I started searching for my God. I tried to pray, study, and meditate. Once again I felt empty, confused, and frustrated.


Finally, I put myself aside. I looked into the little eyes of my children and began to focus on their little needs. My personal worries about who-I-am-as-an-individual transformed into trying to be the best I could be for them. I started praying that I might be a happier, stronger, more grounded mother.


I looked to my family, neighbors, and friends. I prayed that I might be better, more reliable, and charitable to them.


And something amazing happened. Letting go of myself helped me find myself. Praying for assistance to be more, do more, and serve more opened the windows of Heaven and my soul.... and I am happier than I have been in a long time.


It is when you live your life for others that you truly transcend into happiness, connection with deity, and completeness.


I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see.
I sought my God, but my God eluded me.
I sought my brother, and found all three.
(author unknown)

New Traditions

I thought I had fully unpacked.


I may be missing the screws to my piano, my photo-editing software, and my glass pyrex pans... but I thought I was done with the whole unpacking and organizing aspect of moving into a new house.


We cleaned out the garage on Saturday and my entire house is once again filled with boxes to unpack and items to organize... maybe now I will finally find those energy efficient light bulbs and the rechargeable batteries that we packed somewhat near them.


Moving with three young kids and a drastic career change for Nate has been very life altering - in a good way. While I desperately miss my Colorado friends, home, and kid-hang-out-places, I am falling in love with our new little location. Our new home is very lovely, proximity to our siblings is amazing, and our neighbors are beyond fantastic.



Adjusting to a new pace of life pace has altered our family traditions, patterns, and habits.... and it has been a blast reinventing ourselves.


Our newest favorite tradition is Monday Lunch with Dad. On Mondays, the boys and I pack up our lunches and trek to campus to eat with Dad. We wander around the Wilkerson building, hold doors for people, push elevator buttons, and wander until we find an empty table. We eat lunch and then talk to other students. We are loving it.


A couple weeks ago, the boys dressed up in their Halloween costume and wandered around campus handing out leftover trick-or-treat candy. They danced to live Jazz Music and did their best monkey impressions. So cool.


When we first talked about the possibility of PhD school, I was nervous. A lot of college campuses are not very family friendly and kid appropriate. I love that Nate is at Brigham Young University and that we can visit as often as we would like to. I love that the campus is a clean environment and one that motivates my children to go to college one day when they are grown.


My life is drastically different than what it was six months ago, but I am loving the new pace. I know without a doubt that God moved us here for our progression and growth. I am grateful for the ways in which Orem has blessed, changed, and altered my life.


And I am loving the new traditions it is creating.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Being A Mom

For a long time I thought that self discovery was found in some form of amazing rock-the-world talent.


I spent a lot of time wondering if I was a seamstress, a writer, a photographer, etc.


I spent a lot of time (out of fear) wondering what it was that I could do to better the world, provide an income, and still be a focused mom.


And I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others and the amazing things they were able to accomplish on a daily basis.



Moving into a new home, meeting new neighbors, and establishing a new schedule has granted me many opportunities to introduce myself to new exciting people. And along with these fun introductions, numerous individuals have questioned me as to what I enjoy doing in my free time.


And at first I did not know what to say.

What do I like to do?


With three little boys, I like to shower and take a nap.
That is about all I have time for right now.



And I did not like the way that made me feel to be undefined. It felt so unfulfilled, unaccomplished, and worthless.



A couple days ago, I met this cute elderly lady named Hazel.
When I asked Hazel what it is that she liked to do she replied with a "I love to do whatever it is that I am doing in the moment."

When I asked Hazel about her favorite movies, places to live, or foods to eat she replied with similar answers. She loves whatever she is doing in the moment.

She has learned to enjoy the moment.


So as I sit here and contemplate on the words of Hazel, I am filled with contentment, self-fulfillment, and joy. Because truth be known, I love being a mother. I love cleaning house, folding laundry, and creating a home that is conducive to the love of God. I love holding little hands, putting together puzzles, and singing silly songs.

I love being a mother.

And just being a mother is more than enough for me. I am so grateful to God and His love towards me. I am grateful for the little feet, the kisses, and the smiles of my children that sing a melody of His matchless love, grace, and mercy.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Allergies

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A couple weeks ago, Conner came to me with a big concern. He was worried that it was not okay to like girls.... which is a big problem for him because he likes girls a lot.

We had a long talk about having the confidence to like whatever you want... regardless of what others may think. I reassured him that it was good to like girls, the color pink, and anything else that he wanted to like. Conner should be whoever and whatever he wants to be.



Conner had his first big boy field trip today.
He boarded a big, yellow school bus and smiled the entire ride to the local High School where Cars 2 was played in the auditorium for the elementary kids. So fun.


I sat on the bus and watched as he interacted with all of the girls, held their hands, and ignored any and all boys. I am not exaggerating when I state that multiple girls were fighting over who got to sit next to my Conner. He is quite the girl-star.


When I asked Conner about the boys that he likes to play with, he told me that he does not like boys. In fact, he states that he is allergic to boys. Boys, according to Conner are not beautiful - thus he is allergic to them. He then proceeded to tell me about each girl in his kindergarten class and how beautiful they are. He loves their long hair, their beautiful faces, and their smiles. Girls are simply the best...


There was one girl he talked about in particular tonight. A girl that he has been begging to have over to our house. A girl that was crying today when she could not sit next to Conner. A girl that he spent the majority of the morning holding onto her hand.

Kindergarten crushes.
So cute.
So... I don't know... am I really to this stage of motherhood already??

Hands, Hair, and Motherhood

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Conner proudly declared that my left hand is "his hand" last night.
No one is allowed to hold it, look at it, or think about touching it.
The left hand is HIS hand.


Shortly after Conner's declaration, Caleb staked his claim upon my right hand. My right hand now belongs to Caleb.


Meanwhile, Colton with his best cave-man-communicating-grunts and defensive-tugs-upon-my-hair noted that my hair is now his property.


Motherhood - the act of giving everything you are and everything you have - is beautiful. I love that my hands belong to my kids, that my heart beats in four places at once, and that a little piece of me resides in each one of their smiling faces.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Connerisms

Twisting my wedding ring one night, Conner asks:

"Mom, when will I get a ring like this?"

"When you grow up and get married" I say

"But mom, I want to marry you."

"umm... Okay" I say

"But does that mean we have to kiss? Because I don't want to kiss."

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Small Things

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“Not all of us can do great things.
But we can do small things with great love.”
Mother Teresa


It is the carrots from a neighbor's garden.
It is small garden flowers in a vase that state welcome.
It is someone remembering your name and calling it from a distance at Costco... just to say hello.

It is small bags of apples, homemade scripture bags for my kids, and helping hands that move heavy boxes.

It is a friend that vacuumed my empty house with a baby on her hip.
It is spending an entire day with a good friend.
It is a friend that maintained our yard after our initial move before our house had sold.


It is a friend who helped with kids - when you need it the most.
It is a friend who sold our house quickly.


It is the love and support from friends far away.
It is the love and support from family and friends that are near by.


Small things... really are not that small. Small things are large, life changing, and wonderful. I am grateful for all of the small ways people have loved me and my family. Your "small things" are monuments in my eyes.

Thank you.

Halloween Parade

Kindergarten is seriously the best. Conner is loving his teacher, his classroom, and his new friends. I am loving the moments to observe him in his kindergarten element. He writes love notes to his teacher nightly and invites all his friends to his house everyday.

We are loving it.
One of the best things about kindergarten is the Halloween parade.
What a blast.

His teacher and classmates looked simply amazing.

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As I sat and watched my big boy parade around as a monkey - I marveled at how fast the little years pass. I want to enjoy these moments a little more.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Reflections

Conner completed his first Reflections project for the annual school art competition.


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So. Much. Fun.
I had no idea how much fun this project would be.


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Diversity means beauty.
Just like the coloring changing leaves on an autumn tree,
diversity provides beauty.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Adult Hangers?

Conner's clothes now hang their best on an adult hanger.

When did he grow up so fast???

Friday, October 28, 2011

Thirsty

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An hour before I put my kids to bed, I limit the liquid intake. Regardless of my constant reminders to drink-as-much-as-you-can at dinner time, I am always greeted with the but-mom-I-am-going-to-die-if-I-don't-get-a-drink complaint as I am turning off their bedroom light.

There was a time when I was extremely thirsty. Thirsty for some form of accomplishment... something to prove to the world that behind the diapers, laundry, and dishes I still existed. I wanted it bad... and I sacrificed for it. My home, my marriage, and my relationship with my children struggled in their backseat ride towards my dreams. Dreams that could not be put on hold. I spent a lot of time blogging, sewing, cooking, writing, editing photos, and reading... assuring myself that once I was accomplished, I would have time for my kids.

The thirst for more, unrealistic expectations, and the "desire to do it all" act as tiny holes placed in the bottom of a cup. Tiny holes that decrease the amount of love, joy, and happiness our souls can hold. Tiny holes that resonate a constant cry of thirsty-ness.

As I unpack my expectations for my new life next to boxes filled with plates and silverware, I am tossing out the cups with holes. Will you join me?


Favorite Posts of the Week:

-- I love these two posts by Emily P. Freeman entitled When Saying You're Sorry is a Bad Idea and How Saying Yes (and no) Shape a Life Story.
-- I love these 10 Points of Joyful Parenting by Ann VosKamp
-- I love this you tube video. My happiness drawer requires an entire compartment dedicated to ants in my pants.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Kindergarten Kindergarten Kindergarten

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Conner had his first day of kindergarten today.
His teacher's name is Mrs. Black.
His number is 13.
His symbol is a chick.
He has a blue notebook that holds his important homework.


Class starts at 9:15 am.
He hangs his backpack up and sits at his seat.
He plays on the playground during break.


School is pretty awesome.


For a long time I planned to homeschool my kids. I researched curriculum, studied the philosophies, and joined homeschool groups. I made homeschool notebooks, folders, and activities. I scheduled my days, planned out the minutes, and bookmarked songs on youtube.


All of my personal goals, desires, and thoughts began to revolve around my decision to keep my kids at home. My self image was knitted in homeschooling. I began the process to enroll Conner in an online homeschool program known as K12. I met his teacher, completed the paperwork, and selected the courses we would take. I created homeschool lessons - and taught them while Colton removed his diaper and pranced around the house naked. I homeschooled during nap time, bed time, and everywhere in between.


I loved it... but something did not feel right.
It was demanding, and I could not keep up.


After much discussion, Nate and I decided that homeschooling was not right for Conner this year. I simply could not balance it. I did not have the energy, strength, or ability to homeschool my five-year-old, preschool my three-year-old, and simultaneously keep a diaper on my daring one-year-old who loves to dance on the kitchen table and play in the toilet. I could not do it all.


And at first I felt really guilty.
I should be able to do it all... right?


The answer is No.
No one can do it all and simultaneously maintain their sanity.


For a long time I felt guilty.
Guilty that I could not do more or be more for my child.
What kind of mother am I? Really?



I watched my child interact with his teacher, meet his classmates, and sit at his very own desk today. The big smile on his face erased all of my guilt. His joy taught me that the happiness of my family, and myself, is entirely dependent upon my ability to admit that I can not do it all.


Because sometimes trying to do it all - limits my ability to do anything at all.
Sometimes admitting that I can not do it all provides more balance, happiness, and joy... and I want more of that.

My name is Angie, and I am grateful that I can not do it all... more importantly I am grateful that I do not have to do it all.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Yellow Trucks = The Best Bribe Ever

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The holy grail of motherhood bribes has been discovered.

Big Yellow Penske Trucks

For weeks I encouraged my kids to go to bed, brush their teeth, and share their toys all for the sake of the big yellow moving truck.

And you can bet your bottom dollars that it worked.
It worked like magic. Never before have my kids gone to bed without complaint, shared their toys so lovingly, and brushed their teeth without resistance. It was fabulous.

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Thank you Penske truck for encouraging my kids to be even more wonderful, obedient, and kind.