David and Naima Shand

David and Naima Shand III

David Shand III and Naima Gwen Austin Shand
Together Again
David Shand III, age 73, passed away Tuesday, January 3, 2012 in Salt Lake City, Utah of Congestive Heart Failure. He was born October 26, 1938 in Cambridge Massachusetts the son of David Austin Shand and Melba Hansen Shand. David was always proud that his father was First Chair Violinist and Assistant Conductor of the Utah Symphony, a Professor at the University of Utah, and founder of Bonneville Strings. He was a member of the LDS Church, Salt Lake Liberty 8th Ward. He loved his church and family. Martial Arts and Wrestling were his favorite sports to watch on television. He also liked old western and detective movies. He served an LDS Mission to the Northwestern States Mission in the late 1950's serving in Idaho, Oregon and the last six months in Alaska. David served in the US Army and Army Reserves throughout the Vietnam era in the 1960's. He graduated from the University of Utah in 1971 in Psychology. He earned his living working for the State of Utah Department of Corrections. David was preceded in death by his parents and sister, Laura Shand Douglas. He is survived by his youngest sister, Bonnie Shand Huyot-Renoir. He was buried January 4, 2012 in the Larkin Sunset Gardens in Sandy, UT nearby his family.
Naima Gwen Austin Shand, age 69, died of cancer, January 27, 2012 in Salt Lake City, Utah. She was born April 22, 1942 in Brigham City, Utah to William R. and Matilda Malm Austin. Music was a big part of Gwen's life. She was an accomplished pianist and could play any song placed before her. Playing the piano brought great joy and happiness to her. She loved concerts and musicals. A day wouldn't go by without some kind of music in her life. Family and friends loved to hear her play the piano. She graduated from the University of Utah with a degree in Child Development. She worked for the Department of Child and Family Services and was an advocate to protect children. She taught her children the value of love, family, friends and of course music. She had a great sense of humor and always had a positive outlook on life. She was blessed to have many wonderful friends, to Gwen, her friends were eternal. She will be missed by all who knew her. She was preceded in death by her parents, a sister, Lila Austin Nielson and brother William Dean Austin.
David and Gwen were married on December 29, 1961 in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. They had just celebrated 50 years of marriage only five days prior to David's passing. They had three children, eight grandchildren and three great-grandchildren who David and Gwen loved so very much. Children; Julie Shand (Don Richards) Stewart, David Michael (Jennifer Rebecca Berry) Shand, Susan Shand (Brian Harold) Allen. Grandchildren: Angela Stewart (Nathan) Schilaty, Preston Scott (Rececca Whale) Stewart, Spencer Dean Stewart (named after his beloved uncle Dean), Kyle Don Stewart, Jacob Brian Allen, Rebecca Allen, Benjamin Michael Shand, Allison Rebecca Shand, Great-Grandchildren: Conner Schilaty, Caleb Schilaty, Colton Schilaty.
We love you Mom and Dad.
Memorial services will be held Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 2:00 PM in the Larkin Sunset Gardens (1950 East 10600 South, Sandy, Utah). The family will meet with friends one hour prior to services at the funeral home. Interment will be in the Larkin Sunset Garden Cemetery following services.

Published in Salt Lake Tribune on January 29, 2012

Everlasting Grapenuts

Conner wakes up at 6:00 am every morning.
Starving.

Walking into my room I am awoken by a starving-I-am-going-to-die-child that is begging for food. I pry my eyes open and mumble that I am getting up. I promise that I am going to get up. I actually throw the covers off of me to show that I am getting up... while my body stays in bed.

I stay in bed until the hungry child begins to cry. Resentfully, I get out of bed. I blindly stumble into the kitchen running into walls and stepping on Lego's - my eyes unwilling to wake up, my hands clumsy, and my feet floating.

I pour the bowl of grape nuts and lie down in bed until the bowl needs to be refilled.
Grapenuts are hard to clean when spilled... I know that for a fact.
So, I climb back out of bed to refill the bowls.
Awake.
Asleep.
Awake.
Asleep

Life.
Breakfast in particular - is exhausting.


Conner created his own little solution for our breakfast traumas. Before bed each night, we pour a little bowl of grape nuts and set it out on the table for him with a spoon. We pour small cups of soy milk and place them on the bottom shelf in the refrigerator for easy access. And we assemble shirts, pants, shoes, and socks to be worn the next morning.

I am not a morning person.


I wish that there was a magical pre-poured-bowl of grapenuts sitting at the table of life. Waiting for me. Grapenuts that spelled out all of the vital answers to all of my major life questions.


Questions like:

"why graduate school?"

"why did we leave our amazing home, fantastic friends, and successful business?"

"why did that full-time FRCC job open up four months after we moved?"

"why did the Fort Collins temple - the temple I earnestly prayed for - get announced after we decided we were leaving Loveland?"

"where will life take us after graduate school?"

"will I ever have another baby?"


Sometimes, I find myself sitting at the table of life somewhat impatient for the answers to come my way. I am starving and I want that bowl of answers right now. Life, fun, and peace only come when my stomach, heart, and mind are satisfied. I need that bowl of everlasting grapenuts... and I need it now.

Thomas S. Monson once said that although we can not direct the winds of life - we can direct the sails. So, I sit and I ponder and I read... and I realize that maybe I was not created to have all of the answers - all at once. That maybe all of my personal struggles, questions, and insecurities can act as stepping stones to reach a higher more Christlike sense of living.

And maybe once my my sails are directed towards a more grateful heart - that everlasting bowl of grapenuts will come one bite of a time... and I'll be waiting with my mouth wide open.

Love Letter for Life

December and January have been big months.

We lost a soon-to-be-born cousin, a grandfather, and a grandmother. Amongst all of the funerals and family moments, I became caught up in my own grief and the grief of others... and I started to forget the joys in life.

I stopped blogging for a lot of reasons. Number one, it is so easy for me to compare myself to you. You, all of you, are beyond amazing... and when I am not careful with my thoughts, I start to believe that your amazing-ness decreases my ability to be amazing. I thought that running away from blogging would incinerate my thoughts of inadequacy, but I was wrong. Sitting by my grandmother's bed for the last time on Monday, she reminded me that life is fun... and if it is not fun, I am living it wrong.

She gave me the courage to (amongst all my personal doubts about myself) redeem my one time only voucher to undelete my blog for free.





And she motivated me to re-dedicate my life to finding the adventures in life. All too often, I catch myself obsessing about the ways in which I am not perfect. I thought that once I wrote that book, sewed that whatever, lost those pounds, or painted the front room - my life would be fun again. I continued to procrastinate the day I would allow myself time to paint my nails, watch a movie, or play a game of Killer Bunnies. Fun can wait... right?

I was wrong.
Joy and happiness come from attitude.
And I am re-dedicating my life to the adventures that await.

... and I am dedicating this blog to document the moments that make me smile.



Re-dedicating myself to enjoying those joyful moments a little bit more. The moments to stand up and shine.



The moments spent standing in the background silently applauding with your presence... while trying to not smile my entire face off because I am so incredibly proud of my kids.



The yogurt that is smeared all over CJ's body. This boy does not moisturize... he probiotic-izes.



The hills to sled down.





The days to mourn and say good bye to those you love.



The shoulders to sit on and big yellow signs to hold.





The handsome brothers to welcome home.








The uncles-that-would-rather-be-Santa.... and still ask me what I want for Christmas.









The excitement of Christmas mornings.
(and watching your children love the gift you made... isn't the Lego table awesome?)



The comfortable socks to wear from Japan.



The incredibly cute babies to kiss



The head lamps to wear - day and night - for an entire three days straight.



The silent Lego competitions to observe.



The cute half-naked-baby-wearing-my-shoes moments





The nerf gun planes that hide all of my phones.... and then they die in a mysterious location.



The daddy shoes to hold during long car rides.



The books to read.







The smiley cheeks to kiss.... even if the kisses are removed with a five-year-old-hand-wipe.



The paint your nose-red-and-sing moments.



The gingerbread houses to build.



The daddy built Saturday morning Pirate Lego ships.





The love letters to write.



And the love letters to receive.




Life can be one long love letter... if we choose to live our life that way.


Dear Life,

I love you. Thank you for your many miracles. Thank you for the times you make me laugh... and thank you for the times I cry. Thank you for the joy you provide.

XOXO

Soccer on the Roof

The boys played soccer on the roof as I stood side by side with my grandma - watching.






When the game was done, we visited the basement and listened to grandma play the piano. She was always an amazing pianist. She sang "Popcorn Popping" and "I am a Child of God."

That day before we left, I hugged my grandparents goodbye.









My grandpa died three weeks ago.
And my grandma has only hours left.


Monday morning, I raced to my grandma's apartment. Sunday had not been a good day for her and as a result she had taken a severe turn for the worst. Hospice doctors came and informed us that we had hours... maybe days until her death.

I spent the day dabbing her forehead with a cold towel, holding her hand, rubbing her feet, and laughing with her. She made a list of movies to watch, told me to keep up my music, and reminded me to have fun in life.

Life was designed to be fun. There are jokes to tell, cakes to toss out windows, bathtubs to fill with candy, and adventures to have. Sometimes I forget these things... and grandma has always been there to remind me that while life may not always be easy - it can always be fun.

I have the tendency to pack anxiety, worries, and fears... and leave the fun at home.
This year, I am tossing my obsessive hurtful thoughts and replacing them with joy, optimism, and love.

Thank you Grandma - for all the lessons you have taught me.
I am grateful for you, your life, and your love.
I love you.

Sunday Notes

1. Conner had his first "I'll tell you who I like if you tell me who you like" conversation at school this week. He told his friend (Jadyn) that he likes his brothers... and Breeanna.
2. Conner kissed Breeanna this week.
3. Conner went roller skating for the first time this week and he loved it.
4. Conner spent the entire week writing letters to his friends at school on envelopes with little hearts drawn on the inside.
5. Conner received his first love letter from a friend (Emma) this week.



1. Caleb starts speech therapy this coming week.
2. Caleb learned to say his "L's" with Daddy. I love that he can now say "I love you Mom"
3. Every night when tucking him in bed, Caleb looks at me in the eyes and says "Mom, you pretty." Favorite part of my day.
4. Caleb loves to play Batman, Jessie, and Bullseye with the new Lego table from Santa.
5. Caleb now says prayers all by himself. So proud of him!!



1. Colton learned to say "rabbit" and "purple" this week.
2. Colton loves reading Goodnight Moon. Favorite book.
3. Colton loves playing Duck Duck Goose and he often pats his own head while saying the word "Duck" - even when the game is over.
4. Colton loves to chase his brothers around the house while we play hide-n-go seek.
5. Colton discovered the game Connect Four this week - and he is hooked.
6. Colton has a thing for pillows. He has always been my pillow boy that has wanted a particular pillow in his crib - but now he is obsessed with my purple pillows. If the pillow is not purple, he will throw it out of his crib with a scowl on his face that says "this is not purple. I want a purple pillow - now!"

Grandpa Shand

Grandpa Shand passed away on Tuesday afternoon.
After years of struggling with cancer - he died a hero.

Whenever grandpa made his mind up about something, he stuck to it. Just before Kyle got his mission call, grandpa discovered that he had terminal cancer. He told Kyle that he would still be alive when he returned home from his mission - and he was.

Grandpa died two weeks after Kyle came home from Japan.

We will miss his optimism, his smile, and his love.

I am so grateful for the many choir concerts he attended, the birthday cards, and the unconditional support he gave me. I love you grandpa.

A month or two before Grandpa passed away, I took the boys for a little visit.
Grandma had surprise packages for the boys with coloring books, crayons, and Jacob's ladders.


After our little visit, we enjoyed fun game of soccer on Grandma's roof.




Grandma and Grandpa Shand - we love you!

Christmas Day Images

We had an awesome Christmas this year. Santa spent a lot of time in the garage refinishing our coffee table into a lego table. So much fun!

The boys love the lego table... and they also love the whoopie cushions I previously mentioned. We had a very happy and blessed Christmas this year.