crawling with wooden spoons is a challenge.

Meet our new puppets.

Baby Bear, Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Goldilocks.



The boys and I made two sets last week during Colton's nap.
One set for Caleb.
One set for Conner.

The boys helped paint and design their wooden spoon puppets.
Lots of fun...
Lots of fun for everyone but Colton.
He was pretty upset that he did not have his own set of wooden puppets.

So for Colton's-big-one-year-old-birthday, Conner helped make Colton his very own set of wooden spoon puppets. And the puppet present rocked the world. Colton couldn't care less about the super-cool-dump-truck-set he got for his birthday, all he cares about is his wooden spoon puppets.



CJ loves his puppets.
And despite the challenge, he has mastered the art of crawling with two (or sometimes three) wooden spoons in his hands. Pure talent.

Wooden spoons. Who knew?

One Years Old.

The moment Colton joined our family was amazing.



Miraculous.



Full of love.



Completely magical.



And even though it has been an entire year, I still can not believe how amazing his birth was. That incredibly difficult moment when he entered the world naturally (yes, I am still bragging about it) and his soft little cry was heard for the first time - it was love at first sight again.

Our little CJ has grown into quite the boy.
He loves emptying cupboards, climbing, Legos, chasing his brothers, hide-n-seek, playing at the park, baths, and eating. His enthusiasm for life is addictive.

And Mr. Colton James is very loved.
For his birthday Conner drew love pictures for him.
Pictures of the three boys playing together and little love letters that were taped all over the house.










We spent his birthday at his favorite place - the beach.





And he was pretty darn happy about that.



So we played in the sand and water, ate some picnic dinner, and sang to our little one-year-old-boy.









And we celebrated the miracle of life.




Happy Birthday Colton. Boy, do we love you!

all it takes is a candle, matches, and smoke.

I bribe my kids on occasion.
Phew.
Now that we have that covered, let me introduce you to our newest and bestest bribe.


Candles, matches, and phrases like "who ever eats their dinner gets to blow out a candle."


Magic.
Wonderful.
Works every time.


I'm not sure how long this bribery is going to last, but I'll take it.

da train.

da train.
da train is loved by the three boys.
da train is loved by the three boys a lot.
story told.
the end.

treading water...

The other day I was at the park with a friend when I noticed how organized her stroller was. When I say organized, I mean ultra-clean-have-everything-you-could-possibly-need-organized. She had a picnic blanket, fresh sipper-cups of water for her kids, diapers, Kleenexes, and I could go on. Looking at her stroller, I dared to glance at mine. Stuffed animals, dirty socks, old sipper-cups, and clean infant diapers were piled into that poor under the stroller basket. I vowed to clean my stroller as soon as possible.

Then the next day I took dinner to a friend who just underwent major surgery. I walked into her super clean house and put dinner into her super clean refrigerator. I looked at her kid's faces - all clean. Later that evening, I opened my refrigerator to be tackled by bags of spinach falling out while my little kids were running around half naked with dirty faces.

Sometimes I envy the superpower abilities other moms possess. Because in all honesty, I am treading water. I am holding on tight hoping that somehow, somewhere I will find those precious twenty seconds to use the bathroom or brush my teeth - let alone wash faces, organize a stroller, or clean my refrigerator.

But motherhood is just that way. All of us are holding on tight, gasping for breath when we have a second, and desperately wondering how it is that everyone else seems to be thriving while we are surviving.

I read this post by Kat today, and I really think you should too. In the post, she talks about the difference between being a perfect mom vs. a balanced mom. A perfect mom being one who constantly worries what others are thinking, puts appearance above relationships with kids, and finds reward in perceived successes - while a balanced mom sacrifices appearance for relationships with kids, seeks approval from God, and finds reward in a peaceful heart, family, and home.

I want to be less of a "perfect" mom and more of a "balanced" mom. I want to spend less time worrying about what others think of my mothering capabilities and more time relishing in the little moments I have to share with my kids. I want to be a little less embarrassed when my child reaches for a dirty sock in the stroller to wipe his runny nose at the park, and a little more at peace with the days that I don't get a shower. I want more balance and less perfection.


Blogs are funny aren't they? We put our best foot forward, show our shining moments, and hide the moments of heart ache and pain. We hide how much we may be hurting/struggling and we unintentionally make our lives appear to be "perfect."

It is easy to do that with a delete button.

But life can not be deleted. Moments of frustration when you wake up to discover that you need to wash the boy's sheets again for the fifth day in a row, and the sibling fights break out over a piece of dirt, and the baby reaches to the counter and grabs that bowl of ketchup to smear on the walls while you are helping someone use the bathroom. Life happens. And when those moments happen, I feel guilty. Guilty that I am not more perfect, organized, or more.... I apologize excessively and I feel shame.


Sure, I would love an ultra-organized stroller, an immaculate refrigerator, and eight hours of sleep. Individually, each is amazing. incredible. fantastic. blog-worthy. But that is not what today has to offer me. Today is a gift. A moment to sit among the chaotic-movie-blasting-play dough-mess and express gratitude for the grand things that have happened today despite my obvious-imperfections.... that moment may only last twenty-two seconds, but I am going to take it.

Come join me.

the farm

I have four goals for the summer. Four goals that do not include the obvious events like selling my house, moving to Utah, and planning girls camp.

My four goals are the following:

1. Try to get a tan.
2. Teach Conner to count to 100.
3. Teach Caleb to pedal on his bike.
4. Help Colton learn to walk.

Fairly simple.

There is this cute little farm within walking distance to our house. It is never crowded, free, and so much fun. It always puts a smile on our face.








The boys and I visit the farm almost every day with Colton in the stroller and the big boys on their bikes. I drill Conner on his numbers, most of the time he ignores me, and I encourage Caleb to try to pedal.

We count the cows.





Identify the different colors of the chickens.





And sometimes if we are really good, or if we happen to show up at the perfect time, we get to help feed the animals. The workers at the farm are simply adorable with my boys and I think Conner even has a crush on the "farm lady."


We feed the chickens bread and greens.
We help fill the cow's water container with a long hose.
We even help feed the horses their hay.






But among all of the fun things to do at the farm, the best part is the pigs. Conner and Caleb could spend an entire week watching the pigs move, roll around in the mud, scratch, eat, and the obvious act of pooping.





When we arrive to the farm, the boys immediately run to the pigs and wait. They wait for the poop to start falling and the pee to start flying. They wait for the pigs to roll in their pee and step in their poop.





And when it happens, they laugh and laugh and laugh. And when the boys are not laughing, they are cheering the pigs on. Get out of his poop, don't drink freckle's pee, and roll in that mud some more blue bum please.





Meanwhile, I stand in the sun wondering how long I am going to stand at the pig's stall watching the poop and pee fall while Colton is screaming because he wants to get down and crawl. So I hold onto his fingertips and we walk around the farm greeting the chickens, the cat, and the grass.




Colton walks and walks. Visits to the farm are improving his balance.
I enjoy the sunlight.
Conner starts counting the poop falling.
And on the way home Caleb decides to start pedaling his bike.

Maybe.
Just maybe watching the pig's poop fall is the perfect summer-time-goal-motivator.

Little Goodbyes...

We've started saying little goodbyes to our little spot in the world. There are so many favorite places we have, special memories, and things we want to remember about Northern Colorado.


Man, I love it here.



Last weekend we said goodbye to the Denver LDS temple. I love the temple. I love the lessons I have learned within the walls of the Denver temple. I love that because of LDS temples, like the Denver temple, my family can be together forever. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that families can be together after death and ordinances performed in the temple make that possible.



Although the Denver temple is an hour and a half away from our house, we always made an effort to visit as often as possible. I love this temple.

As you can see by the pictures, my boys have always loved this temple for the water fountain. I can not begin to tell you how many times they have asked about the water fountain and if it is still running.



I am grateful for this temple. I am grateful for the lessons that it has taught me; that despite how imperfect I may be, I still have the opportunity to learn and grow and become more than who I am today.



I am grateful for the little wonderful and amazing moments I have spent at the Denver temple with my husband, children, and friends.

at least i made breakfast today?

With our house on the market and three little boys, life is.... umm...wow. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss the days my bathrooms smelled like little-boy-I-missed-the-toilet-pee.

Okay.
I don't really miss that smell at all.
I miss the no-pressure-if-someone-misses-the-toilet-mentality.

Last night I had what I thought to be an ingenious idea. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner prep should be done at night while the boys are sleeping and after the house has been scrubbed clean. Simply genius.

So I cleaned, cooked, and marinated.
I went to bed at 12:30 am. Woke up at six o'clock, put breakfast in the oven, and hoped in the shower. I congratulated myself on the empty sink and dishwasher at 7:30 am.

Sat down to enjoy a rather delicious breakfast. And it was good. The boys all loved it. Clean up was super simple since they ate it all. At nine o'clock we are heading out the door with a makeshift picnic, water bottles, formula, diapers, wipes, and my sunglasses. I was feeling rather prepared and happy that I would be able to keep the house clean all day.

We drive twenty-five minutes to our favorite grocery store. Parking the car, I realize that Mr.Caleb fell asleep. without. a. diaper. on. And I am holding my breathe, desperately hoping that my potty-trained-when-I-am-awake-toddler has not wet his pants. Painfully realizing that I thought to grab my sunglasses instead of extra pants and Shot Spot Carpet Cleaner, I carefully start to unbuckle Caleb's seat belt.

Wet.
Dang it.

Caleb is cleaned, wearing a diaper, and eating a bagel while I am pacing the parking lot. Just what is a mother to do in such a situation? What would a "good" mom do?

To be honest, I reached an all-time-motherhood-low or an all-time-motherhood-high today.
Thoughts of gas prices, double-ad-Wednesday, and time outweighed my apprehension of what others would think if I took my almost-three-year-old shopping without any pants on.

So we marched into the store and Caleb thoroughly enjoyed himself. Apparently going to the store pant-less is the bomb. (Does anyone still use that phrase?)



I don't know if I was more embarrassed by the fact that Caleb was not wearing pants or the fact that I actually took the camera into the store to take pictures of him not wearing pants.

Moments like this just have to be documented.




Yeah, the boys and I were quite the sight at Sunflower Farmers Market today. One boy without pants, a baby in his pajamas, and my little soccer-cleat-boy. Now let's skip the fact that despite Caleb's pant-less condition we still visited the library and had a picnic on campus with the Nate and met many of his students. Sigh, at least I got my shopping done.

Fast forward thirty minutes and we are home. Phone messages checked and I am now frantically putting groceries away and touching up the house for a house showing in one hour. Colton is emptying every cupboard/drawer and I am putting store-bought-frozen-cookie-dough in the oven to make the house smell nice.

I clean up Colton's mess and take another deep breath. I made it. Turning all the house lights on, I go downstairs to be with the older boys who have been told to watch a movie and under no circumstance are they allowed to touch anything.

Wanting to check on the cookies, I walk back upstairs to be greeted by smoke coming from my oven. My sweet smelling cookie dough is masked in the smell of burning. Burning sweet potatoes I come to find out. I had totally forgot about the sweet potatoes I had baked with breakfast to be used at dinner. But now they are not sweet potatoes, they are an explosion within my oven.

Strategically, I clean the oven with my body blocking the baby from touching the oven. Every door and window are opened airing out my house out when the doorbell rings and the realtor walks into my burned-sweet-potato-smelling-house.

At least I made breakfast today?





at-least-I-made-breakfast-berry-french-toast-bake

6-7 slices of bread (gluten free bread is the bomb in the recipe, but any bread will do)
6 eggs
1/2 cup milk (coconut milk is ultra-yummy)
1/4 tsp of cinnamon
1/4-1/2 cup sucanat/sugar
Frozen mixed berries

Mix the milk, eggs, sugar, and cinnamon in a bowl.
Cut bread into little cubes and spread on the bottom of a greased baking dish.
Pour egg mixture over the bread.
Sprinkle berries over bread/egg mixture.
Cover and refrigerate overnight.

When you are ready to eat, preheat the oven to 350 and bake for 35-40 minutes. You could sprinkle it with powder sugar/syrup, but it is really sweet enough on its own.


As a side note, Conner has decided to start preparing the night before as well. He is now wearing a pajama-mommy-shirt over his clothes to bed so that when morning comes all he has to do is remove the shirt and WA-LA you are ready for the day. Pure genius.

Water, Sand, and Popcorn: The Perfect Solution for any All Boy Dilemma.

Nate has this magical ability when it comes to fixing things.
He can fix anything and everything.

So, when the water heater decided to stop working last night with Nate miles away...I panicked. Colton still smelled like butter, Conner and Caleb just plain smelled funny from playing so hard, and I wanted a shower.

Out of desperation, I called a neighbor to fix the water heater and the boys and I went to the beach. Alone. By ourselves. I have never dared such an outing by myself with three boys. My independence was quite shocking to me... but then again lack of hot water does crazy things to a girl.

The boys loved the sand, the water, and the sunshine.
The beach was absolutely perfect.



We made sure to rub sand in between each and every toe.
We built sand castles to only demolish them thirty second later.
And Colton explored the beach.





At first I was shocked at how quickly he warmed up to the beach. I half expected to sit on a blanket with my "baby" and spend my morning watching the big boys play.

I even almost brought a book.

Good thing I did not bring that book, because Colton was a crazy beach boy animal. There was not a grain of sand on that beach that did not meet his cute little knees, toes, and hands.



Colton loved the sand, but we started to have some issues when he wanted to eat it for lunch.
That is where I draw the line.
Sand is not lunch, no matter how hungry you are.

So, we spread out our little blanket, used a million baby wipes to remove the sand, and we had a make-shift picnic with a loaf of bread, almond butter, agave nectar, apple slices, lemonade, and cinnamon-sugar-popcorn.

I am learning that good food has the possibility to solve any problem with little boys.
Any problem.

Forget the water, sand, diapers, dry clothes, towels, or even the sandbox toys. All that really mattered is the fact that I brought some decent food along the way. And the cinnamon-sugar-popcorn is definitely the food that distracted baby Colton from his grand idea of eating an entire beach filled with sand. Thank you popcorn.



Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn

1/2 cup popcorn kernals
1 TBSP coconut oil (you could use any kind of oil, but coconut oil really tastes the best)
1 TBSP sucanat (brown sugar)
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
Pinch of sea salt

1. Pop the corn in an air popper.
2. Transfer the popped corn into a clean brown paper bag.
3. Drizzle the coconut oil over popcorn while shaking up up and down. Top with sucanat, cinnamon, and salt.
4. Close the bag and shake with all your might, mind, and strength.
5. Eat.



Thank you sand, water, sunshine, and cinnamon sugar popcorn for saving the day.
Now if only this amazing combination had the ability to move laundry, make dinner, and weed my garden....

Cupcakes: Dinner and a Story.

Once upon a time, I had a cooking blog. Quite a few actually. I had a fun cooking blog with friends, a cooking blog for the retired-chiropractor, and I blogged about food for associated content.

I like food.
I love to cook.
And I like to tell stories about my kids and food.

Which is where the food blogging stopped. I felt awkward sharing personal stories about my kids and food on the retired-chiropractor's website and associated content... but I love telling stories about food. I really tried to hold back the details and not share stories about my kids, but then the food blogging interest faded.

Simply stated. I do not food blog any more.
But tonight, I am going to make an exception.
After all, people sometimes do crazy things for cupcakes.



It all started when I asked Mr. Conner what it is that he wanted for dinner. I told him he could have whatever it was that he wanted for dinner. Skies the limit. Nate was out and about tonight, so I wanted to make tonight a "night-in-with-mom-special."

His response did not surprise me too much.
He told me he wanted cupcakes for dinner.
Seriously, what kid does not want cupcakes for dinner?

Instantly my brain starts swarming with possibilities. Carrot cake, banana muffins, zucchini bread... what kind of vegetable/fruit "cupcake" could I concoct and serve for dinner? How on earth could I make this meal somewhat decent while simultaneously avoided the before-bedtime-sugar-rush?

The brown bananas on the counter solve the dilemma and we are soaring through the motions of creating dinner while Colton is screaming in the high chair. Screaming. Poor little teething Colton who only wants to be held was not too excited that the creation of cupcakes were limiting my ability to hold him while creating dinner. He would of preferred hot dogs, green smoothies, or left-over pancakes, otherwise known as "one-arm-meals" at our house. Out of desperation, I drop down on my knees and beg Caleb to entertain his brother while I finished making dinner with promises of extra bedtime stories. Obediently, Caleb entertains Colton in his own little way. Faces, silly noises, and games of peek-a-boo surround me. Everyone is finally happy.

Deep breathe.

Frantically tossing cupcake liners into cupcake pans, I realize how quiet the house is. Caleb has disappeared into the bathroom, Conner is in bummer-time for screaming his lungs out while I was on the phone, and Colton is surprisingly happy. Everything seems somewhat peaceful. I continue the motions of tossing pans into the oven when I begin to wonder what on Earth could possibly be keeping Colton happy and content in his high chair.

I dared to look up.
I really wish I hadn't.



Smart Balance Spread.
Otherwise known as butter.
Butter is what Caleb decided to give his brother to keep him entertained.
And Colton was very very happy to smear that chunky, creamy, cold, greasy spread all over his face, hands, and tongue. He very much liked the texture and taste of this new food alternative.

Looking at my greasy baby and my messy kitchen, I had a choice to make.
What to clean first - kitchen or baby?




Let's just say that Colton enjoyed a couple of fistfuls of butter for dinner and my dishes got done. Baby clean, cupcakes for dinner, everyone is happy once again. And who wouldn't be? Our tummies were filled with amazing banana "cupcakes" and everything in the world had gone back to being simply wonderful again.






Whole Grain Banana Bread "Cupcakes"

1/3 cup butter/smart balance/earth balance - take your pick
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup sucanat (or if you must, brown sugar)
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups mushy ripe bananas
1 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 cup water


Preparation:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Lightly grease baking pan/cupcake liners with olive oil spray or butter. Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon and mix in a bowl. Set aside. In another large bowl, mix butter, honey, water, and sugar. Beat on high for two minutes. Add eggs and lightly beat until just combined. Mix in bananas and vanilla -- do not overmix. Gradually add flour mixture.

Or, if you are like me, toss all ingredients into your vita-mix/high power blender. Turn it on and blend until smooth. I love my blender.

Pour batter into pans at bake at 325.
52 minutes if using pans, approximately 25 minutes if you are making cupcakes.
Stay close to your oven, you do not want to over bake these.

Remove pan and place on wire rack. Allow time to cool. Enjoy!




After dinner, I learned that I will no longer be needed for my cleaning-the-floor-services.




Colton miraculously played on the floor for a good twenty minutes with an empty water jug and the remnants of his lunch.




Apparently picking up discarded food and placing them in the empty water jug is the new "baby Einstein."



I am willing to consider "sharing" his floor-cleaning-services with the highest bidder. Any takers?

accept the wonder...

The last couple weeks have been busy.
Finishing the basement, installing toilets, cleaning fingerprints, organizing cupboards, etc.
The house is almost complete.


Honestly, I can not remember the last time I slept for more than five hours.
It has been a lot of work.
I'm tired.
Really tired.
And when I am tired, I am not so good at observing the details or enjoying the simple things in life.


That is when my boys come in to play.
Their spunk, creativity, and delight for life rejuvenates my abilities to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. They are teaching me to acknowledge and love the daily wonders life has to offer regardless of exhaustion, to-do-lists, or commitments.


Wonders like moose wandering through our neighborhood







daddy wrestle time





discovering the slide for the first time





moments to laugh,
{for the record, I think Nate is extremely handsome in his basement "mudding/caulking" pants.}





moments to share love and snuggle with an awesome aunt who is the best book reader





making faces with the uncle Preston





dancing in the street with ice cream when good news comes our way





Enjoying chocolate cake for the first time





discovering ears





bath tub toe raisins






rolling up and down every possible hill.





taking time to acknowledge and marvel at the miracle of life





{even when the form of life is a baby mouse that was found in your overgrown garden or finches who sleep on your house light every night and leave their bodily wastes feet away from your front door}




being fully and completely loved





wearing soccer cleats at all times, in all things, and in all places





exploring cupboards for the first time




bread chicken moments





and naked mud time outside




Life is packed full of simple, small, marvelous wonders.

"My kids have captured me, and I am surrendering.
I am no longer mine, I am theirs."
-Iris Krasnow