quit while you are ahead?

When my darling soon-to-be-sister-in-law sent me these face fusion images...

I held my breathe.
And said a major prayer of gratitude.

Lucky for Conner, Caleb, Colton, and Carlee - their fusion turned out much much better.
And maybe... just maybe.. Nate and I should quit right now while we are ahead.

may the "sis" be with you...

Colton - the boy who has ignored the existence of his sister - has fallen in love.
Anyone - and anything - the size of his Star Wars lightsaber deserves respect in his book.
May the "sis" be with you...

Carlee Amira

"You have until 2:00 a.m. - baby girl - and then I am done."  I whispered through the contraction.  Labor pains had kept me at bay for two entire days and I was done.  Completely done.  This baby either needed to come out right now or plan to stay inside for another couple weeks while I booked an unplanned vacation to Alaska... or Canada... or someplace much much colder than the unreasonable heat.

At 1:40 a.m. the midwife raised my epidural-heavy "dolphin" legs, with the help of the hospital nurse and Nate, while I pushed with all my might.

At 1:50 a.m., I declared that I had ten minutes left to give.  And if she didn't come out... well, I was going home.

The midwife didn't laugh.

Forget the machines with pleasurable non-grape-flavored epidural juice pulsing through my body.  IV's are a cinch to remove.  Come 2 a.m. - I was prepared to roll my way out of that hospital.  Even if she was crowned.

Somehow.

At 1:52 a.m. she appeared.  My little miracle.  If she does nothing - absolutely nothing -  to obey me in the future, I will always be content that she removed herself from my body before 2:00 a.m. on July 22nd.

The anesthesiologist was a complete genius.  After a completely natural delivery with Colton, I believed that it was only fair that I experienced this labor with absolutely no pain - no pain whatsoever

The epidural only worked on one side for the first couple of hours.  When the nurse checked and told me that it was time to prep for pushing, I panicked!  I didn't want to feel ANYTHING.  Pain was not part of my birthing plan this time around.

The lovely anesthesiologist came in and gave me one very large dose before the pushing.  It was amazing.  I didn't feel anything - yet - I could push.  Miracle.  I actually laughed when she entered the world in place of my traditional scream-my-guts-out.

And I didn't do anything crazy like bite my amazingly hot husband or break his fingers.

But this is where we can skip the details about being a beached whale for the following couple of hours and my nastily embarrassing incident with a bed pan.  I am pretty sure the entire hospital heard about it.

So. Embarrassing.

The boys came later that morning.
Colton couldn't stop clapping.
"She is here!  She is here!"

Conner held her with pride while Caleb gave her his heart.
Colton wouldn't stop clapping.
And he doesn't want to take a moment to hold her.
But that is okay.
 

We had a lot of visitors in and out of the hospital for those 24 hours.
Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents.
This little girl is definitely smoothered in love.

 

  
Carlee Amira:
Born July 22, 2013 - 1:52 a.m.
6 lbs. 4 oz.
19 inches

so. done.

When the opportunity to jump on my aunt's trampoline with my soon-to-be-sister-in-law presented itself, I took it.

No questions asked.

The impact of the baby's head on my bladder caused me to... you know... pee my pants.
Other than that - nothing happened.
Darn.

Nine more days until the scheduled induction.
Nine.
whole.
freakin'.
days.

Nine days feels like an eternity when you have to use the bathroom every two minutes.

I am. so. done.

love me some summer

I spent the night at the hospital with contractions four minutes apart and was home before eight o'clock am.

Summer time has become a how-to-entertain-my-boys-with-as-little-energy-as-possible circus act.
 We play lots of boggle and skippity and candy land  and wii. With lots of hugs and kisses in between.

Despite the 37-weeks pregnant discomfort, we are still finding time to enjoy Seven Peaks on Saturdays, geocache with dad, visit the park, enjoy the slip-n-slide, and ride our skooters at nine o'clock each night when the sun has calmed.

And sometimes when the energy gets... you know... to high, we pull out the paint and decorate our bodies.

Because even though mom is tired, summer is a time to do crazy things.  Bath tubs filled with shaving cream, popsicles for dinner, and silly faces painted on little boy chests.  Love me some summer.

Reason #999: Why I Am SOOO Done Being Pregnant

"Hey Mom... are moms always... you know... fat... after they have babies?"  Conner asked from the kitchen counter.

"Well, yes and no.  It takes a while for mommy's tummy muscles to tighten up again after having a baby. "  I said while scooping out a large bowl of vanilla ice cream.

"It is just that... well... I don't remember what you look like without a big baby growing on your stomach."

"You mean that you don't remember what I look like when I am not fat?"  My oversized bowl of ice cream shrinks into a small scoop as I dump it all back into the cardboard container.

"Yeah."  His head rest on his elbows with both eyes focused on the ice cream container.


Oh boy.
I am so ready for my boys to remember what I look like in my skinny clothes. 

pregnancy life lessons...

1.  Maternity clothes are NOT as cute the fourth time around.  Simply looking at my previously used maternity clothes makes my ankles swell and my stomach feel a billion times bigger.  Frugality - although a highly desirable trait that I am striving to master - should be tossed out the window with each and every pregnancy.  New clothes make this pregnant mama feel good.  Period.  

2.  Girls.  Kick.  Hard.  Never before has a child within my womb kicked me awake at night or attempted to puncture my liver with baby toes.  While I enjoy each and every movement, my scrambled spleen has had enough.

3.  Pregnancy is rough and hard and straining.  All throughout my previous pregnancies, I believed that I had to wear a pretend-badge-of-pregnancy-honor that made me appear strong, invincible, and capable of doing everything despite the demanding baby growing within my tummy.  Oh. my. was I wrong.  I have found so much strength - this pregnancy - in honestly expressing how I am feeling, slowing down, and releasing unrealistic expectations.  My kids may not have a billion friends over to play this summer or gourmet meals for dinner every night but we are going to make it.  Survival mode is all about survival.

I am grateful for the girlfriends and sister-in-laws and my mama that listen to my hormonal-I-can't-go-another-day-cries and offer to help in any way necessary.  Your support is oh-so-amazing.

4.  Pregnancy grumpiness is important.  With Conner, the grumpiness hit around week 41.  Caleb week 38.  Colton week 35.  Carlee?  Week 28.   I am not exaggerating when I say that I am so done.  Period.

I have learned that one has to get grumpy to willingly embrace the pain of child birth.  On a scale from one to ten, the grumpiness is so much more intense than labor itself.  Grumpiness is good and should be embraced.  And instead of painting on that facade of I-can-do-it-all, I choose to retreat behind my locked bedroom door with finger nail polish, face masks, books, and deep cries into my pillow.

She will be here one day... despite that overwhelming feeling that I will be pregnant forever.  And it is totally okay that I burst into tears anytime someone asks me how I am doing.   Hallelujah for sun glasses and sunshine.

5.  Siblings are exciting.  I find myself constantly worrying about my limited abilities to play with the three children I have right now.  It is summer time after all!  There are mountain trails and mud puddles and swimming pools calling our name.  The constant trips to the bathroom and aching ankles keep us at home... a lot more than I would like.

I can stop worrying about the things I am not doing because the thing I am doing is exciting.  Siblings are gifts from heaven.  Best friends for life.  And I am oh-so-excited that my boys will have this little girl to love and I am excited that she will be around to care for them.

5.  I am grateful for my husband.  The cries he responds to in the middle of the night, the bowls of cereal he pours for the boys early in the morning, and the strong arms that pull me from sitting to standing positions.  His willingness to buy food to conquer my cravings, his hands that adjust and massage my aching back and ankles during all hours of the day, and his ears that so willingly listen to me

God blessed me with an amazing companion to help me and strengthen me.  I am oh-so-grateful for Nathan and the load he carries for me.  I might be the one carrying the baby, but Nate is lifting the weight of both of our worlds upon his back.  And I love him for it.

and someone turned three...

When Colton was a baby, his smile was so big his cheeks would squeak.
Cheek squeaks filled our home with so much joy - morning, day, and night.

Three years later, his cheeks no longer squeak.
But his personality and love bring so much happiness into our daily lives.

Per Colton tradition, his birthday was celebrated with a "sucker cake."

Lots of star wars presents, games, and pretend light saber fights.

And I thought mr. birthday boy would be oh-so-excited to wake from his daily nap in a highly balloon-ed and streamer-ed bed.  He didn't care one bit.  Too excited about his star wars toys.

Next time I will nap during his nap.

June 28th was a happy day for our little three year old.
Love you - Mr. Ceej!

seven truths and no lies

1.  I found the castor oil last night.  You know, that lovely bottle rocketed both Caleb and Colton into the world?  It is taking all of my willpower to not partake of it.  Like tonight.

2.  I find myself in my closet petting my non-pregnant clothes on a regular basis.

3.  Reverse psychology works on my kids... and it works on me.  "Hey Mom!  My bum is hungry for a spanking!"  Spankings have become the newest and best-est bribery at my house.  Beds are being made, piano practiced, and dishes put away.  Love love love reverse psychology.

4.  Colton is the master of memorized prayers.  When asked to pray he replies with a "okay, I will say my memorized prayer."

5.  After waiting two hours for the firework display - with multiple trips to the restroom - duty number two began to call for a six-year-old boy after the first big bang.  Look at the bright side - at least we didn't have to fight traffic to get home.  There were like no cars on the road and boys were tucked in bed before 11:00 pm.  Maybe I will slip some prunes to the boys next year....

6.  You know you are married to a neuroscientist when discipline lectures (to the boys) include discussions about parameciums and their disrespectful behaviors towards their host.  

7.  A four letter F word has been reintroduced into our vocabulary.  Yeah!  Caleb has successfully mastered the word fork.