happiness is...

Discovering bark for the first time and refusing to let it go.
Happiness is found in gluing eyes on bark and watching Caleb carry his "bark friends" around all day. One of them is named "daddy"... I am just not sure which one.




Paint card friends.
Happiness is Caleb re-learning his colors.







Drawing on paint cards.
Happiness is Conner's writing on each card.




Butterfly Walls.
Happiness is displaying the artwork made by my boys.












Baby food jar rainbows.
Happiness is mixing water and colors.






Cardboard Guitars.
Happiness is watching Conner make up his own songs as he plays along with Dad.






Apple-cinnamon-oatmeal baby food.
Happiness is a baby with a full tummy.




Reading books.
Conner today told me that he loves me to the temple and back. Talk about melt my heart.





Happiness is all of this and so much more.

Soy Milk Soccer Mom

Winnie the Pooh and the Blackberry Surprise is one of our favorite books.

In this book, Pooh and Piglet are wandering through the forest when Piglet notices that Pooh is still wearing his sleeping cap. Startled by that fact that he forgot to remove it, Pooh calmly takes the cap off his head and decides to carry it in his hand. When they happen to notice a large blackberry bush covered with delicious blackberries, Piglet and Pooh are delighted. They quickly decide to pick as many blackberries as possible but are confused as to how they should carry them. Suddenly, Pooh realizes that his nightcap is perfect for carrying blackberries. They gather blackberries and as a result, everyone is able to enjoy blackberry pie.


Caleb always has to leave the house with a toy or object in hand. Yesterday things were very chaotic as I quickly packed the kiddos into the minivan for soccer practice. So crazy that I failed to notice that Caleb had removed a carton of soy milk from the refrigerator and carried it to the car with him.

As I unload the kids from the car, I realize what it is that Caleb has in his hands. I quickly try to remove the blue carton from his hands and he starts to cry. Like any mom in true survival mode, I cave in and let him carry the carton to the field with the argument that it will be a lot easier to keep him on the sidelines if he has his carton of milk.

Conner starts stretching out on the field and Caleb is following him. Carton in hand. The practice starts, and Caleb will not put the carton down. Examining the blankets and bag that I somehow managed to carry to the field with one arm, I quickly realize that Conner's water bottle was left in the car. Unwilling to leave him on the field (we parked too far away from the field) and unwilling to remove Conner from the practice to walk to the car, I panic.

Suddenly, I see Caleb with his carton of milk.
The coach blows the whistle for a water break and Caleb instantly hands Conner his carton of milk. They both drink from the carton, and I am instantly the soy milk soccer mom.

Soy milk may not taste as fabulous as blackberry pie, but I am soo happy that Caleb thought to bring his carton of milk. It was the perfect "nightcap" to solve our problem. I just might let him carry a carton around with him more often.

Funny soccer moments:

• Before the practice, Conner starts stretching his back out. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was "adjusting" his back so he could play better. He is totally a chiropractor's son.
• During the practice, Conner ran over to the side lines multiple times to reassure me that he still had two shin guards on. Man he loves those things.
• He is very precise. When dribbbling the ball around the orange cones, he had to take his time and do it perfectly. So cute.
• He was very confused on why he could pick the ball up at certain times and not during others. We are going to have to work on that.
• He wants Dad, Caleb, and Colton to paint their tummies like this for his first soccer game in two weeks.
  
• He will not stop talking about soccer. Love it.
  

faith...

The faith this little boy has in me is humbling. Regardless of my inadequacies as a mother and individual, he is always there to greet me with his amazing smile. Wow. Being a mom is amazing.

St. Patrick's Day

I really enjoy St. Patrick's Day - primarily because green is an awesome color and I like the idea of being allowed to pinch anyone who is not wearing one of my favorite colors.


I kind of made a big deal about St. Patrick's day at our house this year, probably to make up for the fact that I completely missed Groundhogs Day. I still do not know if that little hog saw his shadow or not.

Anyway...

We started our St. Patrick's Day festivities out early with green painting, green sensory bins, and a Leprechaun trap.





We baited our own little Leprechaun Pete with gold coins, rainbows, and a tree house for him to play in. We woke up to find green footprints in our tree house,



an empty Leprechaun trap, and a little treasure hunt. We found clues in our shoes, gloves, and cupboards. In the end, Leprechaun Pete left us a little pot of gold coloring books.



Colton spent most of the day pulling himself up.
I am so happy that I finally caught a picture.



And despite my grand plans to spend the afternoon playing with green balloons, green streamers, green playdough, green baths, celery painting, shamrock hunts, "green green yellow," and green eggs...



we spent the day cutting grass with scissors.
I guess the grass should be green.

Happy Green Day!

The Apricot Trap

We are hoping to catch a Leprechaun tonight with our magical trap.



Leprechaun is kind of a big word.

Conner continues to call them Apricots.



We are going to catch a little mischievous man who is required to grant three wishes... or jam.

Either way, I am happy.







On a completely different note, look who pulled himself up to the dishwasher yesterday. This kid is going to be walking before I know it.

I missed the picture moment, but you can still see the red spot on his forehead from the little crash that occurred when he lost his balance.



I love that drool that is always hanging from his mouth.

church ball

Nate loves to play basketball with the men at our church. Games are usually held at night after bedtime, so the boys have never had an opportunity to watch dad play. When we discovered an earlier evening game, we decided we needed to go cheer dad on.

First you must understand that boys do not carry cheerleader pom-poms.
Encouraging posters? Destroyed in ten seconds flat.

We had to be a little creative.

The stomach message worked really well, except for the fact that Caleb wanted to stand by Conner which resulted in the stomach message of "ADD" or "DAA."

Oh, and if Caleb was not showing his naked tummy, he was busy hanging from the door.
That kid is strong.

Toy Story 8, 9, and 10

My grandma Shand is simply fabulous.



She plays the piano well, writes amazing scripts for Christmas puppet shows, tells phenomenal stories about bath tubs full of candy, and always makes me laugh. Every Christmas Eve, the Shand family has a cute family puppet show tradition with an incredible puppet theatre, puppets, and sound effects - it is one of my favorite things about Christmas.



When Nate surprised me with a very large empty bath tub box, I was thrilled. Visions of giant marble ramps, giant car ramps, beyond life size canvases began to fill my mind ... the possibilities for this box were endless.



Ultimately, as I looked upon this large box, two words rang in my mind - puppet theatre. I had to make a life-size puppet theatre and name it The Shand Theatre.



So we did.



Caleb loved cutting the box, painting the box, and painting his body and my clothes. It got quite messy - but it was fabulously fun.

And the boys love it.

They call it their life-sized TV.

They spent all afternoon creating their own toy story movies. Toy Story 8,9, and 10 to be exact.



The boys even gave me an imaginary remote. I had the power to rewind, fast forward, or turn the movie off. It was quite fun.

Just in case you are not familiar with Toy Story 8,9, and 10 - here is a brief synopsis:



Toy Story 8: Buzz discovers that he had a brother who is also named Buzz. Together, the two Lightyears defeat Doc. Oc - the mean hippopotamus who is trying to steal Andy's peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Little Buzz defeats Doc. Oc with his super power laser while big Buzz does his karate actions.



Toy Story 9: The two Lightyears are once again forced to protect Andy and his juice box from the same Doc. Oc Once again, little Buzz defeats Doc. Oc with his super power laser while big Buzz implements more karate actions.



Toy Story 10: Big Buzz is magically transformed into a monkey. When little Buzz discover that his car is out of gas, monkey boy comes into to push little Buzz to the gas station. Together they fill the car up with gas (a.k.a. rocks) and they drive around until the car is out of gas once again. In other words, they drive until they want to dump the rocks out all over the cement to only put them back in the car again. The clowns were about to come and eat the rocks but the baby got tired of being outside so we had to go in.

Today was a good day.

Words cannot describe how awesome it was to watch my boys act out their own imaginary stories. Honestly, it was the best television I have ever watched.

flattered...

Adorned in his dump truck shirt and muscle boy athletic pants, Caleb takes a break to find my shoes. In heels, he carefully tramples through the Lego's with a large smile upon his face.

Imitation really is the best form of flattery.

cooking up some love...

Tonight I had a dinner date with two Buzz Lightyears and a hungry baby. Dinner with the three kids can be quite the task and tonight was no exception.



There was never enough ketchup on the plates, water did not stay in the cups, and I could not get the apple cinnamon oatmeal baby food into Colton's mouth fast enough. Meanwhile, Colton wanted Conner's fork, water, and food. Conner was depressed that he could not wear his Buzz Lightyear costume to the Emmys despite my constant reminder that he can wear anything he wants. And Caleb was pouring his water from cup to cup.



Regardless of the chaos, I am hanging on tight to those moments. The creativity, love, and complete sensation of joy. I am learning that motherhood joy does not always exist - but when you find it, you grab onto it and hold it tight.



Motherhood can be a challenge. There are days that push beyond limits. Moments that serve as an opportunity to cook up some love. Love that will be enjoyed when the timer finally dings and the cookies emerge from the oven. Cookies that are tender mercies from God spelling I-Love-You with a perfect unconditional love that motivates, refines, and heals.

steamboat springs

Last August our family took a perfectly wonderful trip to Steamboat Springs when Colton was less than five weeks old. The trip was fabulous, unexpected, and the catalyst to selling our business.

I did not write about this trip last August because our world was in commotion. I did not feel I could write about it without divulging our decision to sell our business. Now that everyone knows... I can tell you all about our little trip to steamboat.

When Colton was two weeks old, Nate got really sick. Scary sick. He was unable to talk, sleep, or even write down a coherent sentence. I have never prayed harder in my life. Prayed that the symptoms were not manifesting mumps or meningitis. Prayed that my newborn would not get what daddy had. Prayed that the older two boys would stay well. Prayed that I would have the energy to care for my family despite the post-I-just-had-a-baby-exhaustion.

For days we did the best we could to treat it, but it continued to get worse. Finally, Nate drove himself to the emergency room at one in the morning, had a minor surgery, and came home with pain killers.

Unable to find substitute teachers, I drove the lortabed Nate to and from school - because you can not drive when you are lortabed. While he taught, the boys and I hung out at the campus library while I prayed that I would not have to nurse the newborn while simultaneously keeping the two year old quiet.

It was kind of intense.
I cried a lot.

My wonderful in-laws dropped everything and hoped in the car. They spent an entire week at my house playing with my kids, cleaning, grocery shopping, and cooking while I slept and slept and slept.

We had a lot of conversations about stress levels and changes. We decided to run away to Steamboat Springs... just for a couple of days.

It was fabulous.

I love this little mountain city... my little refuge from the storms of life.


The boys loved the hotel elevator, swimming in the pool, phones, watching the hot air balloons, and playing with the hotel flashlights. We enjoyed Tibetan monks, mandalas, walks, the cute little library, and visiting the hot springs. I spent a lot of time watching Hannah Montana and trying to figure out my DSLR - I took a lot of practice pictures adjusting aperture and ISO, Nate rode his bike a lot and enjoy some much need down time.

The trip was simply wonderful.

I heart Steamboat. It was everything we needed it to be.

If you ask Conner what his favorite part about the trip was, he will tell you that it was the elevator while Caleb liked the "uhh" part.

We Saved China

Last night, Conner was bitten by a radioactive dog and he magically transformed into Super-Dog.



His main occupation?

Save China

Caleb holding the radioactive Conner Dog

No joke - he really made this whole game up on his own.

When uncle Spencer moved to China for a couple months, Conner had a lot of questions. He wanted to know about the food, the clothes, the buildings, etc. So we ate a lot of Americanized ham fried rice (minus the ham) and built a lot of Chinese Lego apartment buildings.



Last night the evil horse (Caleb) threatened to destroy the Chinese Lego apartment building, so Super Dog (Conner) came in to save the day.

When it looked as if all hope was lost, Super Dog was bitten once again by Lightning McQueen. Combined powers of dog and car allowed Super Dog to drive on buildings and push the evil horse off.

So fun.



In the end, the evil horse and super dog were forced to combine their powers to protect their Lego's from the [villainous] doctor crawling baby.

Cute crawling babies always win.





Saving China reminded me to slow down more often to enjoy the little random creative moments with my children.



It was a wild and crazy night at my house. Nate was teaching late and I was overwhelmed with the task of tackling dinner, dishes, laundry pile, and bed time routines on my own. I had every excuse to not sit down and play.



But regardless, I sat down to play.



And I am so glad that I did. I re-learned that life is not entirely about that overwhelming to-do-list. Life is about learning to take a break from the many projects that consume our lives to experience moments of joy, love, and laughter.



Thank you China. Lesson learned. You should be safe now.

creativity

Let's pretend that you are invisible.

You are invisible and you are at my house watching me make dinner. The sink is full of dishes, toys are scattered all across the house, and the guest bathroom door is locked because Caleb left a puddle of pee on the floor and I have not had a chance to clean it up yet.


You will notice that Conner is climbing on the counters, sneaking chocolate chips, and overflowing cups with water in the kitchen sink.

Caleb is scooping out the stir-fry-sauce I am in the process of preparing with measuring cups and spilling it on the counter. Eventually he has spilled it all and so he moves onto joining his brother on the counter to empty my herbal/nutritional cupboard in hopes of locating his favorite homeopathic cough medicine.

And Colton is on my hip, grumpy, unwilling to play, and desperately hungry.


Within a matter of thirty seconds...

Conner falls off a chair he was climbing on in spite of my warnings. He is screaming.

Conner distracts me and Colton grabs at some hot food and burns his hand. He is screaming

Caleb decides to dump an extra 1/4 cup of ginger powder on the vegetables that are being cooked. He is screaming because I am mad that he just destroyed dinner.


Three kids screaming.


I quickly scoop out the ginger powder from the vegetables while simultaneously rinsing Colton's hand with cold water. Conner and Caleb are each hugging a leg. And I am desperately trying to quiet the kids because Nate is downstairs teaching an online class.

Deep breath.

I used to believe that creativity was limited to various hobbies. Sewing, scrap booking, painting, etc.



I am learning that creativity is really about finding joy and beauty in life despite imperfect conditions... like a sink full of dishes, heavy babies on the hip, and absolute chaos.

My life is pretty darn creative.