Sexy Ed 101

"Wow mom, that car was Seeexy!"  Conner says from the back seat of the minivan.  Driving along at the legal speed, a hot yellow mustang sounded it's horn and swerved around our mini van.

"Say what?"  My fingers turn the radio off.  Some conversations do not require the presence of Taylor Swift.

"That car.  What it did.  It was sexy."

"Sexy?"  I ask.  Please.  Please.  Please.  Let my ears be wrong.

"Yeah.  It was sexy."

"Um... what exactly does the word sexy mean?"  My courage is lost somewhere in my throat.  I had hoped to avoid this conversation for... I don't  know... a billion years.

"You know sexy.  The word you and dad use all the time."

"Um... yeah? What does that word mean?"  My face feels hot and it isn't because of the afternoon sun.

"Well... you know... sexy... it is kind of like the word stupid.  Only you and dad get to say it without going to a time out."

"Um.  Sexy does not mean stupid."  I instantly correct him.  Could Conner seriously believe that every sexy compliment aimed towards Nate had been devised to "put him down"?

"Well, then what does it mean?"

"Well... it means... you know... that you love someone so much that you want to kiss them and hug them and spend every moment of the day with them.  It means that you appreciate and honor them."

"Oh... I see."  Conner says.

"It is a special word that you need to save for the person that you will one day marry.  Daddy can say it to mommy because we are married.  Because the word is super special, it is important that you save it for your wife."  I stammer, hoping to avoid any sexy comments emerging from his mouth on the playground.

"Wow mom.  Thanks for telling me that.  I could have really used that word wrong."  Conner says, his cheeks growing pink.

"No problem.  If you ever want to talk more about it, I am here for you."  I say while silently hoping that Nate will be the one to address any future Sexy Ed questions.

"Thanks Mom,"  Conner says.

Relief washes over me.  We had the conversation and it wasn't that bad.  Perhaps this whole teach-your-children-everything-you-know concept isn't half as bad as I once thought it to be.

*  *  *

"So... boys... how do you think baby Carlee got into mom's tummy?"  The curling iron crashes against the bathroom vanity as I burst into the kitchen.

"Seriously?"  I ask, glaring at Nate.

A smile spreads across his face.  "I am just curious what they think."

"Yeah.  But I don't want to have that conversation anytime soon.  You hear?"  My hands land on my hips and my eyes shoot serious-darts-of-fire in his direction.

"But you did so well with the last one... I thought I would... you know... speed things up."

"You are in the dog house."  I say while leaving the room.


Sexy Ed 101 went well... but as for Sexy Ed 102?  I am hoping to make it another month... or two before that question surfaces.