Despite the high pitched screams emerging from the kitchen, I took my time helping Colton off the toilet. The last time someone screamed like that it was because of a wet leaf.
"What is going on?" Nate asked as Caleb stood in the kitchen with his wet swim suit sticking to his body and the look of horror smeared across his face.
"It's probably a wet leaf." I yelled from the bathroom.
"There is no leaf on his leg." Nate yelled back at me.
"Okay... well... then... I don't know."
Pulling at his shirt, Caleb motioned with his hands that the source of his distress was located inside his shirt. Removing Caleb's shirt, Nate yanked a stinger off Caleb's ribs and smashed a hidden bee against the ground.
Sobbing, Caleb wrapped his arms around my shoulders. After some awesome daddy first-aid and two episodes of the Magic School Bus, Caleb was happy and ready to play.
An hour later, screams emerged from the family room... again. Dropping the spatula, I abandoned dinner preparations to find blood gushing from Caleb's mouth.
Between the screams, I discovered that Caleb (the son of a scientific researcher) had decided to perform his own scientific experiment. Testing his hypothesis, he soon discovered that homemade PVC piped marshmallow guns are longer than the length of his mouth. The gag reflex proved to be a blip in the road to his scientific research. Gagging on PVC, the pipe punctured his uvula and bruised the soft pallet in the back of his mouth. Unable to swallow and eat and drink, pain killers became a necessary BFF for the day.
Bee sting?
What bee sting?
Next time you find yourself irritated with an annoying bee sting, please remember Caleb's scientific discovery. Despite the gag reflex, PVC punctured uvulas are the perfect remedy to any form of discomfort. Although we have not tested this method on mosquito bites or stubbed toes we are confident that the PVC induced pain will illuminate any and all minor annoyances. As for pain management during natural child birth? We will keep you posted.
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