the person i am

I spend a lot of time worrying about what others think of me.

I want to please the world and everyone in it.. and I want to do it right now. Often I end up putting the happiness of others before my own... and at the end of the day I am left feeling empty and unsatisfied.

I will never create happiness for others when I do not feel it myself.

I will never make everyone in the world happy.

The only person I should try to please is the Savior.

"What thinks Christ of me?"

I am going to STOP comparing my waist size, anxious comments, and mistakes to the strengths of others. I am going to STOP telling myself that my dreams and aspirations are not good enough. I am going to STOP destroying happiness.

And I am going to start embracing HAPPINESS. I am going to embrace it on the kitchen floor with Lego's surrounding me. I am going to embrace it with fabric and string and attempts to make fabric bike baskets. And I am going to embrace it while lying in bed with my children at night reading stories and talking about our day.

I am happiness.

Surprises

The boys love to give surprises. Toys wrapped in toilet paper, kisses, and hugs. I love their surprises.

Often, I forget that God has amazing surprises awaiting. Surprises from my Heavenly King involve peace, love, and forgiveness. His surprises erase guilt, pain, and sadness.

Oh, how I need these surprises.

I often wonder how it is that I can attain more of His love. I need more peace, forgiveness, and strength in my life... how can I possibly hold onto His help when my world is spinning so incredibly fast and my arms are exhausted?

How can I hold on tight when the tears begin to fall and the weight of the world becomes overwhelming?

The answer is found in His arms.
His arms have the power to hold us when we lack the strength to hold ourselves up.
His love has the power to motivate, heal, and refine our very beings.
His arms are the best surprise of all.

What REALLY Matters...

There is so much more to life than how skinny we are or how rich we are. Things that have so much more relevance to our life than a waste line or a bank account. Reach for the things that matter most.

Asking for Help

I have a sour taste in my mouth when it comes to people asking me for help. I am not proud of it, but I do. Why do they need help when I am somehow able to do it on my own? If only they balanced their time more, their commitments, and their obligations - they would not need my help.

But the truth is – I am exhausted, worn out, and empty. Asking for help does not need to be a bad thing – it is good. If I am unable to ask others to help me, is that because I am unable to ask my Savior? Or is the fact that I feel that my Savior does not want to help me the reasoning behind my inability to ask others? What will others think when they learn that I am not all together?

Will others believe that I am less of a mother or person because I am unable to “do it all”? Are dishes in the sink a sign of incompetence?

I don’t think so.

God does not expect perfection. The only perfection possible is when the Savior is in our lives – deeply, fully, and absolutely. The only form of perfection that exists when He is in our lives. Learning to depend on Him is necessary. We can not carry our spiritual, physical, or emotional burdens on our own. We need to cling to him and hold onto His strength to pull us through the trenches, the ups and downs, and the hard times of life.

Balance in life is only found when we crave God more than anything else. When we crave His presence, Spirit, and Charity over material possessions, worldly comforts, and recognition. Striving to put God first in our life and allow His opinion of us to matter more than anything else – provides balance. Put away the list of things that I should do – and start doing the things that I feel inspired to do.

Put away the natural man and accept the peace of God’s love for you. When you allow God’s love to overflow your life, you no longer have to worry about whether or not your effort is enough – when He is by your side, He will always make up the difference. The truth is that I will always fall short… the only way I will ever make it is when I ask for His help.

God will always hear and answer our prayers if we only turn to Him. He is the way, the truth, and the light.

Rely on God

Learning to rely upon the Lord, and ask for even solicit His help is vital.

Asking for help does not reveal weakness - rather it exposes strength.

Perfection.

Perfection is not an outward appearance.

It is an internal connection to God.