treading water...

The other day I was at the park with a friend when I noticed how organized her stroller was. When I say organized, I mean ultra-clean-have-everything-you-could-possibly-need-organized. She had a picnic blanket, fresh sipper-cups of water for her kids, diapers, Kleenexes, and I could go on. Looking at her stroller, I dared to glance at mine. Stuffed animals, dirty socks, old sipper-cups, and clean infant diapers were piled into that poor under the stroller basket. I vowed to clean my stroller as soon as possible.

Then the next day I took dinner to a friend who just underwent major surgery. I walked into her super clean house and put dinner into her super clean refrigerator. I looked at her kid's faces - all clean. Later that evening, I opened my refrigerator to be tackled by bags of spinach falling out while my little kids were running around half naked with dirty faces.

Sometimes I envy the superpower abilities other moms possess. Because in all honesty, I am treading water. I am holding on tight hoping that somehow, somewhere I will find those precious twenty seconds to use the bathroom or brush my teeth - let alone wash faces, organize a stroller, or clean my refrigerator.

But motherhood is just that way. All of us are holding on tight, gasping for breath when we have a second, and desperately wondering how it is that everyone else seems to be thriving while we are surviving.

I read this post by Kat today, and I really think you should too. In the post, she talks about the difference between being a perfect mom vs. a balanced mom. A perfect mom being one who constantly worries what others are thinking, puts appearance above relationships with kids, and finds reward in perceived successes - while a balanced mom sacrifices appearance for relationships with kids, seeks approval from God, and finds reward in a peaceful heart, family, and home.

I want to be less of a "perfect" mom and more of a "balanced" mom. I want to spend less time worrying about what others think of my mothering capabilities and more time relishing in the little moments I have to share with my kids. I want to be a little less embarrassed when my child reaches for a dirty sock in the stroller to wipe his runny nose at the park, and a little more at peace with the days that I don't get a shower. I want more balance and less perfection.


Blogs are funny aren't they? We put our best foot forward, show our shining moments, and hide the moments of heart ache and pain. We hide how much we may be hurting/struggling and we unintentionally make our lives appear to be "perfect."

It is easy to do that with a delete button.

But life can not be deleted. Moments of frustration when you wake up to discover that you need to wash the boy's sheets again for the fifth day in a row, and the sibling fights break out over a piece of dirt, and the baby reaches to the counter and grabs that bowl of ketchup to smear on the walls while you are helping someone use the bathroom. Life happens. And when those moments happen, I feel guilty. Guilty that I am not more perfect, organized, or more.... I apologize excessively and I feel shame.


Sure, I would love an ultra-organized stroller, an immaculate refrigerator, and eight hours of sleep. Individually, each is amazing. incredible. fantastic. blog-worthy. But that is not what today has to offer me. Today is a gift. A moment to sit among the chaotic-movie-blasting-play dough-mess and express gratitude for the grand things that have happened today despite my obvious-imperfections.... that moment may only last twenty-two seconds, but I am going to take it.

Come join me.