pregnancy life lessons...

1.  Maternity clothes are NOT as cute the fourth time around.  Simply looking at my previously used maternity clothes makes my ankles swell and my stomach feel a billion times bigger.  Frugality - although a highly desirable trait that I am striving to master - should be tossed out the window with each and every pregnancy.  New clothes make this pregnant mama feel good.  Period.  

2.  Girls.  Kick.  Hard.  Never before has a child within my womb kicked me awake at night or attempted to puncture my liver with baby toes.  While I enjoy each and every movement, my scrambled spleen has had enough.

3.  Pregnancy is rough and hard and straining.  All throughout my previous pregnancies, I believed that I had to wear a pretend-badge-of-pregnancy-honor that made me appear strong, invincible, and capable of doing everything despite the demanding baby growing within my tummy.  Oh. my. was I wrong.  I have found so much strength - this pregnancy - in honestly expressing how I am feeling, slowing down, and releasing unrealistic expectations.  My kids may not have a billion friends over to play this summer or gourmet meals for dinner every night but we are going to make it.  Survival mode is all about survival.

I am grateful for the girlfriends and sister-in-laws and my mama that listen to my hormonal-I-can't-go-another-day-cries and offer to help in any way necessary.  Your support is oh-so-amazing.

4.  Pregnancy grumpiness is important.  With Conner, the grumpiness hit around week 41.  Caleb week 38.  Colton week 35.  Carlee?  Week 28.   I am not exaggerating when I say that I am so done.  Period.

I have learned that one has to get grumpy to willingly embrace the pain of child birth.  On a scale from one to ten, the grumpiness is so much more intense than labor itself.  Grumpiness is good and should be embraced.  And instead of painting on that facade of I-can-do-it-all, I choose to retreat behind my locked bedroom door with finger nail polish, face masks, books, and deep cries into my pillow.

She will be here one day... despite that overwhelming feeling that I will be pregnant forever.  And it is totally okay that I burst into tears anytime someone asks me how I am doing.   Hallelujah for sun glasses and sunshine.

5.  Siblings are exciting.  I find myself constantly worrying about my limited abilities to play with the three children I have right now.  It is summer time after all!  There are mountain trails and mud puddles and swimming pools calling our name.  The constant trips to the bathroom and aching ankles keep us at home... a lot more than I would like.

I can stop worrying about the things I am not doing because the thing I am doing is exciting.  Siblings are gifts from heaven.  Best friends for life.  And I am oh-so-excited that my boys will have this little girl to love and I am excited that she will be around to care for them.

5.  I am grateful for my husband.  The cries he responds to in the middle of the night, the bowls of cereal he pours for the boys early in the morning, and the strong arms that pull me from sitting to standing positions.  His willingness to buy food to conquer my cravings, his hands that adjust and massage my aching back and ankles during all hours of the day, and his ears that so willingly listen to me

God blessed me with an amazing companion to help me and strengthen me.  I am oh-so-grateful for Nathan and the load he carries for me.  I might be the one carrying the baby, but Nate is lifting the weight of both of our worlds upon his back.  And I love him for it.