The Mary Kay Service Lesson

Nate had the privilege to serve in a leadership capacity for almost three year at our church in Loveland Colorado. His responsibilities included early morning meetings before and after Sunday services, the occasional weekly meeting, and sitting on the stand during church meetings... which equates to Angie doing the keep-the-kids-reverent-during-church-dance alone.


At first, it was very rough. I had two boys under the age of three with a lot of energy and determination. Despite the slew of individuals willing to help, I believed that I should be able to do it on my own. Occasionally, I would allow them to help me... but the guilt I felt afterwards was tremendous. I felt that my energetic boys inhibited others from enjoying their church services and detracted from the atmosphere and goodness that could be felt during the services. With the attempt to avoid inconveniencing others, I avoided the help from others at all costs. Every Sunday I wrestled my kids into their seats... and I prayed that my boys would be reverent for ten minutes.


Skip forward ten months and I am pregnant with Colton.

Caleb, now a walking fifteen-months-old and He screams for Dad anytime he saw Nate sitting on the stand. Conner, three-years-old, does not like the idea of sitting still at church.

I did not know how I was going to make it with three kids.

Finally, when I was starting to loose hope... and question why my husband was called to serve... the amazing Mary Kay stepped in to help. She gently taught me that it is okay to ask for help - and she was amazing. It is astounding what Mary Kay can do... she is a sacrament-child-miracle.

I was beyond grateful.... but at the same time, I was extremely embarrassed.

Why couldn't I hold it together?
Why couldn't I do more, be more, and accomplish more?


For over a year, I felt guilty about needing help.

I felt guilty that instead of enjoying church, Mary Kay spent her Sunday protecting her glasses from Colton, bouncing various kids on her lap, and wrestling with Caleb for the marker that just drew all over his face.

I've got to admit that deep down, I wondered what it would be like to have Nate sitting by me during church. I wished I could tag-team him instead of inconveniencing someone else. As our move from Colorado to Utah approached, I caught myself looking forward to my husband sitting by me during church, helping with the get-everyone-ready-for-church-routine, and the break-down-from-three-hours-of-church-exhaustion chaos.


We love Mary Kay.
Mary Kay was the highlight of church.
Sitting with Mary Kay was an equivalent to spending time with Grandma.


On our last Sunday at our Loveland ward - I learned something.

As I watched Mary Kay hug my boys goodbye, I realized that all of her love and service was not done out of obligation or with malice. Mary Kay genuinely loved me and my children.
She served with charity, a genuine heart, and the desire to help me because she loved me... and I realized that I spent too much time feeling guilty, and not enough time enjoying her love.


The ability to serve with love, no thought for oneself, and true charity is amazing while the gift to receive service without feeling like a burden or guilty is simultaneously admirable. Guilt is a plague that distorts reality and removes the pleasure from service. Serving out of guilt lacks the Christ-like love - while receiving service with a side of guilt blinds us to the love of the Savior.

"God hears and answers our prayers,
but it is usually through the life of another that he answers them."
-Spencer W. Kimball

It is important to open our hearts to serving others while it is simultaneously important to open our hearts to the love of the Lord found in the service of others.

Both gifts are necessary.