In the End - A Butterfly

Three years ago my husband and I began the rocky climb of starting a business. The climb has been worth it - even during the down moments.

As things continue to evolve and grow, we still do not know where this journey will take us. The journey has changed us and hopefully has made us better people.

Throughout the climb, there have been moments of frustration and despair. The lack of a steady paycheck or the intensity of a husband working multiple jobs at the same time can become overwhelming. There have been moments when I want to throw my hands up in the air and say "I am done!"

There have also been moments of joy. There have been many moments of satisfaction knowing that the rocky climb is in support of my husband's dream. There have been moments of shared excitement when a difference has been made in some one's life.

Reaching for our dreams is never an easy task. There will be moments of disappointment, pain, or even loss. Expect it. There will be moments in which giving up might sound like a good idea. But there will also be moments of joy, and these moments are worth every ounce of worry or despair.

Over a month ago, Nate applied for a full-time teaching position at an online university. This position included flexible hours, health benefits, and a steady paycheck. The preconceived ease of that path sounded so fantastically delicious, that it had me drooling. This job would bless us with security, while simultaneously allowing us to build our business. We have prayed and prayed for this job to be ours. The interview went great and they told Nate they would get back to him within a week.

The week ended yesterday.

We received no call.

They told Nate that they would call him either way.

We still do not know.

Yesterday, I felt like waving my hands in the air to surrender. I continued asking "why not?" and the famous "what have I done wrong?" questions that everyone asks during the hard moments.

Prior to our business venture, it was suggested that we maintain a "gratitude journal." I found that journal today. As I started to review our entries, I was filled with a deep sense of peace. Even during the hard moments, our lives have still been richly blessed. We have always had a comfortable home, we have never gone hungry, and a rich abundance of love has always resided within our home. I continue to realize just how much the hard moments have blessed our lives.

Prayers have been answered by those who surround us. The support received from family has been incredible. Support from friends and neighbors has been overwhelming. Every prayer has been answered ten-fold. Thank you to each of you who have influenced our life in a positive way over the last three years.

We still do not know what the job opportunity will bring, but either way I am grateful. I am grateful to know that we are not alone. I am grateful for the hard moments that encourage growth in ways that I would never have dreamt possible. I am grateful for the power of prayer in our lives. Even when the light of the tunnel feels far away... I am convinced that it is never really that far away.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,

the Lord calls a butterfly"