harder than i thought...

When Nate and I first started talking about going for that PhD, the decision seemed simple, easy, and clear. No longer enjoying chiropractic, Nate needed the education necessary to advance at the University level. Simple decision to make when your heart is not involved.

I knew it would be hard to leave. I just did not know it would be this hard. As I have pondered, prayed, and mourned our soon-to-be-move, I have tried to not look back. Tried to stop myself from wondering what life would be like if we stayed in our "paradise" and ignored the amazing opportunities that have come straight from Heaven for our family at Brigham Young University.

I can't look back.
I can't think about the friends I will desperately miss, the home I love, and the wonderfulness of Northern Colorado.
I can't look back.

We put our house on the market yesterday.

My first house.
The house that welcomed two of my newborn babies.
My house.

Although I spent the last four years rearranging this front room in every possible way, I love it.



And at times I got somewhat frustrated with the limited cupboard space, I love my kitchen.



I love the gentle arches.



I love the bay windows.



I finally organized and painted my laundry room.
I love it.



I even love the ledges that gave me nightmares.
Nightmares about little boys climbing and falling down stairs.



I love the ceiling fan Nate installed to help keep me cool last summer when I was nine months pregnant.



I love the little boy potty that I clean multiple times each day.
Why did I teach my boys to pee standing??



I love the little playroom kitchen for the boys in the basement.



I love my movie theatre wall,



the office,



and the drum room.

I love every bedroom, every bathroom, every storage closet, and my backyard.

Dear House. I love you.
I love your quiet comforting walls that have held me as I have rocked my babies back to sleep at night.
I love your strong arms that protect my family from the wind, snow, and rain.
Thank you for providing a place for my babies to roll around, play, and grow.
Thank you for embracing our love and the love from Heaven and holding it within your walls.
Thank you for being everything I needed you to be and so much more.