jedi temples are not funny

Afternoon walks to kindergarten are full of emotion.

Mr. Caleb walks a little taller with his chest poked out and a smile on his face that competes with the size of Texas.
Colton drags his feet with his shoulders curled in and a pout smeared across his face.
Carlee screams if the bounce isn't quite right.
And my pace is brisk and quick because lunch usually takes too long to eat and we are racing the clock.

Walks home from kindergarten on the pre-school free afternoons??
Even more intense..

On one particular afternoon, Colton's moody behavior stood testament to the fact that he needed a nap.  While marching home from school with Carlee fussing in my ear, he came unglued.  Protests  were complete with the various stomping of feet, rotten faces, and mean words.  He thinks he is quite the negotiator.

After telling him for the up-teenth time that he was going to invest in a nap that afternoon, he dug his heels into the ground.  I quickly realized that carrying a ten-pound fragile baby and my forty-pound three-year-old (yes, he weighs forty pounds) at the same time was not an option.  Period.  Standing on the street with cars whizzing past, I realized that we were never going to make it home.  Ever.  Sleep deprivation combined with an overactive imagination kicked in and images of my body outlined with chalk on the sidewalk surrounded with yellow tape entered my mind.  I could have very well died on that sidewalk with two inconsolable babies in hand.

Adrenaline kicked in and so did a little common sense.
Kids never like talking about naps and I was insane to argue with an overly-tired three-year-old.


Changing the subject to Star Wars - Colton's favorite conversation piece - I began asking him about all of his favorite characters.

What is Anakin's favorite food?
Where does BoBo Fett sleep?
How did Jabba the Hutt get so fat?
Does Darth Vadar drink Orange Juice?

Colton immediately piped up and began talking about Star Wars.  He told me all about BoBo Fett's favorite movies and Princess Leia's favorite hair style and why Han Solo needed to comb Chewbaccca's hair - when Colton looked up at me and said:


"Anakin Skywalker and Padme got married in the Jedi Temple.  Did you know that mom?"


I couldn't hold back the laughter for one more second.  What three-year-old can talk about Star Wars for hours upon end?


"Mom!  That is not funny!  We do not laugh about Jedi temples."  With eyes scrunched up in complete fury, he glared up at me to let me know that he was serious.

I should have shown more restraint and stopped my laughter, but I couldn't.  I had already used up my daily allotment of self-control. 

"Mom!  I am serious!  We do not laugh at temples because it makes Jesus sad."

 Swallowing my laughter, I bowed my head in submission.  The padawan had a point.

"Colton, you are right."  I responded, "Temples are not funny, they are special.  Thank you for reminding me."



He replied with a "you are welcome Mom... just don't do it again" response before he delved into the topic of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan.  I continued the walk home in silent humility because he was right, Jedi temples are not funny.


Mental note to self: Next time I am in a desperate situation with Colton and choose to use Star Wars as a conversation piece - hold back the laughter.  It might just save your life.