Roles and Responsibilities

I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am.

I know and understand the traditional answers. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a neighbor, a daughter of God, etc.

I want to know more than that.

Under all of the layers of assumed roles and responsibilities I carry each day, who am I?

The only problem is, I can't seem to get a hold on my life long enough to understand who I am. Moments are quickly leaking away while I desperately try to close in the gaps.

Each night I go to bed vowing that I will gain control tomorrow.

Inevitably, I fail.

Tonight I realized that life is not about stopping up the holes in our lives. Time flows like a waterfall. No matter how hard we try to stop it, it will continue rolling forward. Life is not about gaining control of the dishes or keeping laundry out of the laundry bin - although these tasks are essential to our survival. Life is about getting wet and riding the fall of the water.

I have often wondered what the world would be like if William Shakespeare decided not to write or if Handel decided not to compose music. Our world would not be the same without their shared masterpieces.

What mark do I need to leave on the world?

Yesterday in church I realized what the phrase "to bear one another's burdens" really means.

I also realized that I have selfishly been impatient with my family. Hours of moments spent debating who I am have emotionally (and at times physically) have removed me from my family. I want present time consciousness. I want to play with and enjoy my kids.

I don't want to worry about Angie anymore. I want to focus on strengthening those who surround me. I want to raise honest and good children who know and love the Lord. These two characteristics mean more to me than any form of success the world has to offer.

I want to know the gospel. I want to play with and teach my children. I want to love my husband. I want to have a mind that is constantly in tune with the spirit allowing me to be a better servant.

I need to eliminate things from my life that do not allow me to focus the way I need to.

Because I want to be better.

I want to be stronger.

I want to raise warrior children.

Being a homemaker is the best calling in the world, and I am grateful for it.

Four Years Old

Guess who turned four years old yesterday...

Conner did!

Our Mr. Conner-man is finally four years old.
Which is quite the relief.
We have been anticipating this for months!

Now that we are four years old, we do everything in fours.
Four is the new "in."
Three is soo incredibly "out."

I am so grateful to be Conner's mom.
He has changed my world in more way than one.
I am a better person thanks to my little man.

I love his imagination, his creativity, and his passions.
Nothing beats the joy of watching your child grow up.

I love holding Conner and reading books.

I love that Conner always wants to give mom or dad a kiss good-bye.
I love his hugs.
I love the way he says "I love you mom!"
I love his obsession with the difference between girls and boys.
I love his sweet prayers.

I love listening to Conner sing to himself.

I love watching Conner play with his Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
I love observing how loving Conner is to all of his brothers.
I love the way Conner teaches and interacts with Caleb.
I love listening to Conner read to Caleb.

Conner, I am so proud of you!

Happy Birthday to my little man!

Men Are That They Might Have...

A couple months ago we started memorizing scriptures and quotes with Conner. He loves it. Each time Conner masters a quote/scripture he earns a treat... which is a big deal for our little four year old.

For scripture study this morning we started memorizing 2 Nephi 2:25.

"Men are that they might have joy."

Conner taught our family this morning what true joy is. As he tried to memorize the scripture, he continually replaced his own definition of joy. According to him, men are that we might have:

cups
sprinkles
pee standing
a potty at the office
Eve
houses
pictures
a bus
airplanes
trucks
... and the list goes on...

The one thing I am pretty sure Conner will never add to that list is naps. I strongly disagree with him... we all know that "men are that we might have naps."

Birthday Boy

Caleb is two years old today.

In honor of his second birthday, we present you with... drum roll please.

The Caleb's "Top Two List."

{Favorite Foods}
1. Chocolate
2. Hot Dogs

{Favorite Books}
1. Goodnight Gorilla
2. Curious George and the Dump Truck

{Favorite Movies}
1. Wall-E
2. Wallace and Gromit

{Favorite Phrase}
1. "Choo-Choo"
2. "Da-ad"

{Favorite Songs}
1. Mahna Mahna from the Muppets
2. Follow the Prophet

{Favorite Things to Do}
1. Wrestle Dad and Conner
2. Climb on everything


{What We Love About You}
1. Your contagious love for life
2. Your smile and laugh

Happy Birthday Big Boy!

Six Week Old Boy

Mr. Colton James.

I love your smile.
I love your smell.
I love your laugh.

I even love your cry.

I love the way you breathe when your deep asleep.

I love to hold you morning, day, and night.

I love to kiss your baby cheeks.

I love to rub your baby head.

I love your eyes.
I love your hands.
I love your ears.
I love your feet.

I love everything about you.

Would you please stay a baby forever?
I just can't get enough of you.

Colton's Blessing

Colton James Schilaty

Baby Blessing - August 1, 2010

Our Father in Heaven by the authority of the holy Melchizdeck Priesthood which we hold, we
take this infant into our arms to give him a name and a blessing. The name by which he will be known upon the records of the church and through his life, the name that we give him is Colton James Schilaty.

At this time Colton we desire to give you a blessing from our Father in Heaven. We welcome
you into this beautiful world that has been created for you and desire for your progress and for
your eternal happiness. You are blessed that you will be able to feel the influence of the spirit strongly throughout your life - and be willing to listen to the impact of the Spirit, be able to gain a testimony of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and of his Gospel here upon this earth.

We bless you that as you move yourself through this earth that you will be able to develop in the Gospel and you will be able to serve a full-time mission. You will called to a place in the world which is far from home but you will be able to feel the influence of the spirit and bring souls to Christ. You live in the latter-days, at a time when there will be much wickedness upon this earth, but you are blessed to be able to be fortified with the Spirit, and strengthen, to be able to rise above to be a light and an example to the world.

You are blessed that you will be able to make and keep sacred covenants with your Father in
Heaven, through baptism and through the Holy temple, be able to someday meet your eternal
companion, and be able to experience eternal joy.

You are blessed to be in a family, with brothers who also love the Lord and follow their counsel and also be an example to them as well, strengthen one another as ______ ________

It is a blessing to be able to bear this priesthood of God. It is a blessing to be able to
accomplish the Lord’s will. These blessing we pronounce upon you, Colton, and do so, in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ amen.

Colton's Baby Blessing

Little Colton James received his baby blessing at our church on Sunday.
The blessing was beautiful with no cries or screams.

We love our little Colton and can not believe how quickly he is growing up!
Conner wants him to stay a baby forever.

"The child must know that he is a miracle,
that since the beginning of the world there
hasn't been, and until the end of the
world there will not be, another child like him."

- Pablo Casals